Monday, October 22, 2012

Pippa Speaks Out

"We have a long road ahead of us with situations like these. And until we find the ONE guy that wants us 100% and everything that comes with us there is going to be a lot of heartache. There are going to be a lot of guys that we knew it could work with if we didn't have kids. But what this means for us is when we do eventually find someone, that someone will be one hell of a guy because this is a lot to take on. Until then, we have our beautiful kids, supportive families, and each other. All we can do is start every day saying we'll get through it, enjoy our kids, go out and have fun with friends, and try to be the best people we can be. That's where we will find true happiness. And maybe one day there will be a guy that will get to share that with us. And you know what? I think that guy will be pretty damn lucky"

-Pippa Slater
August 10, 2012

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Conversations with Aden: July 2012 edition

I allow Aden to go to the bathroom alone. Is that weird? Not public ones, but when we are at home he just does his thing. Apparently i'm a little too trusting with him being in the bathroom alone.

This evening he went to the bathroom, as per usual. I hear a flush, again, normal. he comes and watches TV. Cool.

5 minutes later, he gets up, goes to the bathroom again, flushes, comes and watches TV. Odd. But okay. By the way, we are watching Elf. In July. Whatever.

3 minutes after the second trip, he goes to the bathroom and I hear a flush and some water running. Okay. Not normal. He comes out and I ask what he's doing in there. In the smallest voice he said "I just wanted to paint my nails.." Oh. My. God. AGAIN!? I go into the bathroom and luckily there is no nail polish on the floor or counter or towels this time. Apparently he had snuck a bottle out of my purse. and painted his nails.

Aden: "I just really like you... I like you so much. I like your nails. I like you"

Good explanation. Time out still ensued.


As Ryan was walking out the door, Aden came upstairs pants-less. I don't really know or question what those two do, but when either of them comes around pants-less, i can't help but question. Ryan obviously saw the puzzled look on my face and said "I tickled Aden so hard he peed his pants"... before I could ask any questions, he was out the door. So I asked Aden..

Me: "Did your daddy tickle you so hard you went potty in your pants!?"
Aden: "Yeah.."
Me: "That sounds pretty silly!"
Aden:  "NO! It was TERRIBLE!"

Oh. Okay. Well, thanks Ry for giving AJ PTSD.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Things You've Missed: Part 1.

In the almost year long hiatus, Aden has been racking up some great stories for me to put on my blog. I wrote half of them down in a notebook, others are stored in my memory somewhere, and the rest I just flat out don't remember.. my bad.

Things That Happened:

-Aden Joefus Kiger Turned THREE!
           He also started referring to his middle name, Joseph, as "Joefus". For Aden's birthday, Pippa and I figured it would be a GREAT idea to take them to a nearby indoor water park for the entire weekend. Thus developing what we have now termed "the weekend from hell". We spent two nights in a 1 bed (for pippa and I) with 2 bunk bed hotel room. I'm not sure why we thought the kids would go to bed easily... but they didn't. Both nights it ended up both kids and Pippa and I in one bed. As much as I have tried to erase the memory from my head, I still remember at least one of the kids waking up twice a night screaming bloody murder. I'm not sure, but I think Aden fell off the bed at some point.
           Really, so many things went wrong. The fire alarm started going off during breakfast, forcing us to take our shoeless kids to the freezing lobby, we couldn't keep the kids wrangled and in the same vicinity in the waterpark, our hotel room smelled like my great grandma's bedsheets... It was so bad we called Ryan the second night and begged him to come help. Being salty that this was a "mom's only" trip, he immediately rejected the idea. The last night, we ordered food and brought it up to the hotel, using the bed as a dining room table. I have never been happier to get home and shower. That was NOT a hotel. It was more of a campsite. Never. Again.

-Potty Training
           I seriously think I had been half-assed (no pun intending) potty training for a year. All of my friends- especially the ones with girls- had their kids potty trained at 2. It seriously got frustrating because it's not even like he was trying. He just did not understand the concept. I don't think Ryan or I even had to really try TOO hard to potty train once he was ready. He caught on very quickly and we haven't had many accidents (other than him peeing on the floor at a restaurant). Seriously, if your kid isn't ready, don't push them. It just makes everyone frustrated. I will say that to get him to go #2 we had to bribe him with ice cream. But that's because he would ask to put on a diaper JUST to go in.

          There was a time when Aden was at daycare, 4 days a week. Aden made so many new friends, but not before biting and hitting and screaming at all of them. (His first couple weeks there were rough.. but after the transition, and a change of teachers, I never received a poor report again.) Thankfully, after this quarter, my schedule won't be so janky and different. When he has to go back, it will be a different place, and not for long. I'm still anti-daycare.

          The little guy is an absolute fish. He has no fear of anything. He'll jump in without a life jacket, need to be pulled up by Ryan or I, and then do it again. He knows how to hold his breath for a second, enough to jump in by himself with a life jacket on, and how to doggy paddle. He hasn't had any swimming lessons just yet, but I'm not fully convinced he will need any. I didn't have swimming lessons when I was younger and I don't think Ryan did either. So far he has been a great teacher. However he did have the *fantastic* idea of slowly cutting out pieces of the life jacket, making Aden less dependent on it.

Me : "Ryan, I don't think that's safe. They probably make life jackets where you can take foam out of it or something."

Ryan: "We don't need one of those! Just cut it out, it's fine!"

Seriously. More to come.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

The Aden Whisperer

I know, I know.. I have been on an extremely long hiatus. Apparently working at night, going to school, and having a 3 year old doesn't really allow time for a blog.. who knew? But now I am back, and intend to act like this long break never happened. For many reasons.

Aden has become the polar opposite of how I was when I was a child. He is not shy in the least bit, he has more energy than 4 of me put together, he is stubborn, he is loud (okay that might be from me), he is independent.. I could go on. Ryan is very good with Aden because he knows what is going through his head... because he has thought it all before. But the person who knows how to speak to Aden and really get him to listen is none other than Grandpa Fred (Ryan's Dad).

I'm pretty sure it's because Fred has already raised Ryan, and Aden and Ryan are exactly the same person. He doesn't raise his voice, he is extremely patient, he knows exactly what to say.. it's unbelievable. I am so jealous that Fred has this kind of patience with Aden because I certainly do not.

Aden is quite mischievous. I could go on for days and days with stories about my little red headed child. But I have to start with some of my favorites (and most recent).

Your Phone is Ringing
I don't think I ever though 3 year olds could be manipulative, that is, until I had one of my own. He will get something he isn't supposed to have (i.e, ice cream) put it behind is back, come up to me and tell me either "your phone is ringing, you better check it." or "the water ho is running, go turn it off" knowing full well that if I leave the room he can sneak ice cream. Guess how many times that has worked?

None. Unfortunately for him, I was not born yesterday.

The Nailpolish Story
A few weeks back, Aden had gotten into the fridge. I got a trash bag and tied it shut (Stay classy, Ellyn) and after doing so I heard silence. I go upstairs and find Aden running towards me. He always runs to me after he's done something bad. He sticks out his foot and shows me his freshly painted toenails. Oh dear Jesus. "Did you paint those yourself?" "yes. and I painted the bafroom".. I check our bathroom...nothing. This can only mean one thing... I half-cover my eyes as I walk into my parents, all white, sparkling clean bathroom. Nail polish everywhere. Bright PINK nail polish. On the white floor, the polka dotted rugs, the handles of the cabinets, the towels. Everywhere. Being the rational human I am, I immediately break down in tears... because you know.. the world might end from this. It took FOREVER to clean up. The rugs still have some nail polish on them but that's it, thank goodness. I think at this point, that takes the cake for one of the worst things Aden has done. He was honestly so proud of the fact that he painted his toenails. This is the day I learned that Aden could twist off caps. Very quickly. This is also the day that baby gates and door locks became implemented again. They will not come down until he is 17.

The Week of Spearmint
My son has a thing for gum. Not just any gum. Specifically mint gum. I guess I wouldn't have such a problem with it if he didn't SWALLOW it. I don't know where he first got gum, or why he has such a fascination with it, but he does. And it is creepy.

One afternoon, I could not find Aden anywhere. I had just gone to the bathroom- with the door open- surely he could not have gone far. I go into my room and hear faint rustling in the closet. Oh great. Maybe he jacked the brownie mix from the pantry and exploded it in my closet again. No. This time he was sitting in the dark in the closet, holding a pack of gum in his left hand, with an empty pack of gum (previously 1/2 full) next to him. My son was eating Spearmint gum in a dark closet, like a crack addict. I took it away from him, furious of course, and the entire time Aden just kept saying "I need it. I NEED it. I NEED GUM!" Do you think there is rehab for gum eaters? Needless to say, Aden smelled of spearmint for a week. Since the incident, gum is now stored in a secret compartment of my purse, which is located on the top shelf of the closet.

However that story is nothing compared to when Ryan found Aden behind a chair in the living room with my bottle of root beer and a pack of gum. Note to parents: If you are ever trying to locate your kid, and they come bolting out from somewhere... something's wrong, wrong wrong.

The R.Kelly Event
Aden has a big thing with playing naked. I'm totally cool with it, as long as he doesn't become really focused on his little... parts. I was laying on my stomach on my bed, and Aden came and jumped on my back.. he wasn't wearing pants. I wasn't too phased about it until I feel his little legs stand half-way up, in a squatting kind of position and I feel a warm sensation on the back of my neck. "DID YOU JUST PEE ON ME?!" Aden nodded, clearly proud of his work. My child just peed on me. On purpose. And is proud. If that's not birth control ladies and gentleman, I don't know what is. Run away. Run far, far away.

The Poop Deck
I had a very hard time potty training Aden. I mean a VERY hard time. He will be 3 1/2 in August and he just stopped wearing overnight diapers. He really could not get the hang of pooping in the toilet.

One day when I was making lunch, Aden comes in from being in the backyard and told me the dog had pooped on the deck. I go look at it. This is weird for two reasons. 1) The dogs weren't outside, and they don't poop on the deck. 2) That does NOT look like dog poop. Aden must have known what I was thinking because he finally said "I did it. That's mine!" Yeah. My kid just pooped on the deck. And I picked it up with a grocery bag. This has to be a lifetime low for sure.

The Lion and The Hippo
I asked Aden to read me a story. The story he came up with by looking at the "baby animals" book was quite interesting...

"The Lion said 'I want ice cream'. The hippo said 'you're gonna choke on it'. The Lion said 'CHOKE ON THIS!' and then ate ice cream."

The way he said it I was half expecting him to whip out a "suck it" gesture. Things have gone terribly wrong.

All for now.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Everybody Waffles.

This morning I told Aden we were going to eat waffles. This was his reply:

Here are the lyrics: "Waaafffles. Waaaafffles. Everybody Waaaafffles." Because you know, everybody DOES waffle...? It sounds a lot like the Clean up song. And "Everybody" comes out "yeah buddy". I'm not sure how he came up with it but you can bet that "everybody waffles" is going to be a 2011 Hit Song.

Also, Aden had to have the amount of football he watches restricted. He does a three point stance, wait until the quarterback hikes the ball, runs a lap, and then tackles whoever is on the floor. He did it for the entire 2nd half of the OSU game. Mommy and Papa were exhausted. So now everytime football is on he just gets way too worked up to handle. Imagine Dick Butkus as a toddler.. with red hair. Run far, far away.

Oh and mom fail of the day: Finding orange play doh lodged up into your son's nose. Play doh had to be put away due to eating it, regurgitating it, inhaling it, and stuffing it up the nose. It was a long day.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Only Trust Thyself, and Another Shall Not Betray Thee

I'm going to write about something that I tend to steer clear of on my blog. My relationships.

Since Aden, I have become very protective of my feelings. I don't let many people in, not in fear of me being hurt, but in fear of my son SEEING me be hurt. I was adamant on not letting guys meet my son, why should they? If you aren't going to stick around why should I let you meet what is most important to me? Not many of them expressed an interest anyways. Over time I have become pretty hardened to the idea of love and happily ever after. You see so many people get divorced, break up, and get hurt and I realized I just didn't ever want to feel like that. Don't have feelings; don't get hurt. It worked well.

But then you meet that one person who is so persistent in breaking that wall down. Not because they care. Not because they want to be with you. Just because they can. They know what to say and how to act in every situation to manipulate you into taking that wall down.

And then they crush you.

That feeling I never wanted to feel? I felt it. That fear my son seeing me get hurt? It happened.

So much in my life is unstable right now. My school schedule, Aden's schedule, working.. I'm always frantically rushing around it seems. My schedule is tough. For once it was nice to have something stable. Someone I could talk to, someone who was supportive, someone who was on my side.

The whole situation is disgusting to me. The fact that I could get so worked up over someone is disappointing and embarrassing. The fact that I still can't listen to any song on the radio or drive anywhere without something crossing my mind and me asking myself over and over, "why did I do this to myself? Why did I do this to my son?.. is pitiful. "mora til den sterke" (mother of the strong)... is a lie. How can I teach someone to be strong when I can't even be strong myself?

I feel guilty. I feel guilty that Aden was the one comforting me. I feel guilty that I made him sleep with me 6 nights in a row. I feel guilty that Aden was the one to see me cry. I feel guilty that Aden offered me "shuey" (his most prized possession) day in and day out just to comfort me. I feel guilty that I ever passed up 1 minute of my time to spend with Aden to spend it with someone else.

I wish that I could blame this on someone else. I wish that this was someone else's fault. But doing that would only show weakness and immaturity, two traits which I never wish to possess.

It's times like these when I wish I was optimistic instead of realistic.

"Only Trust Thyself, and Another Shall Not Betray Thee"- William Penn

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Drumming In The Chicken

Remember how hitting has become an issue with Aden? Well, we have been being more strict about hitting others and how it makes them feel and all, and I thought we were making progress. That is, until SOMEONE taught him how to "drum" on his lap (aka hit his lap). Now when I see him hitting things he says "LOOK mom! I'm drumming". Newsflash AJ: People do not drum on mirrors. Or people. Or dogs. If I have to get this kid a drum set to teach him that we only drum on drums, I might go crazy. We have tried drumsticks before... not surprisingly, mom was the one who got all the battlewounds. Never argue with a toddler and a drumstick. Especially one who makes this face:

The other day, I asked Aden where shuey was. Aden smiled and pointed and said "In the chicken!" Well, here's the problem. We don't have a chicken. I asked him again and he again said "the chicken". He then ran and got shuey... in the kitchen. At least I can actually see how he got chicken out of kitchen. Unlike super clean and shuey..

Poor bubba is sick. This is the very first time (besides that time when he was 6 months old and I took him to the doctor and he had a sore throat. THAT was a big deal.) he has been sick. He just has snot everywhere. I always said I would never be that mom who had the gross crusty kid. Guess what? I have a gross crusty kid. Do you know how hard it is to teach someone to blow his nose? I mean, the kid just learned how to suck from a straw a few weeks ago. Sucking and blowing are really not strong points of his (get your mind out of the gutter, it's a child). Since he was sick, I took today off work and spoiled him rotten..Jeni's ice cream included. I don't get many days like that, so today was really special.

Today I don't know what AJ was doing but he was taking all of my underwear o
ut of the basket and saying "oh for god's sake".. which is also a quote he uses watching football (thank you grandpa for that one). I think he has a thing for underwear. I told him he could wear underwear if he used the potty and he runs over, makes me take his pants off, goes and shakes his little member over the potty and screams "ALL DONE!" then asks to put on my underwear. Okay dude, you love football and dirt as well as nailpolish and lacy under-roo's. Some may say that's odd but I just say you're well rounded. You wear those hipster boyshorts AJ!

After Aden told me he pooped his pants and I realized I forgot the wipes. This is not staged. He had control of the picture button.

And since I'm having another "why can't I be with Aden all the time" whiny day, here is a note to my boy:

Aden, I wish I could give you the world. I wish I could spend every single moment of every single day with you and teach you everything you need to know. I wish I could be wiser and make less mistakes for you. I wish you didn't have to learn things at the same time I do. I hope you never have to grow up as fast as I did. I hope you watch your mom and realize how hard it is for me to leave you and go to work or school. I love you, I miss you. It will get better.
(Am I getting repetitive yet?)