If you know me, you know that one of my biggest pet peeves is when people ask, "do I look fat?" I hate the fact that everyone is so obsessed with their body and trying to change it. I've always been a really small person, never even reaching my goal height of 5'2. I was in the 5th percentile all through my childhood was just a skin and bones for awhile. Some people would be "jealous" but really, I hated my body as much as anyone. My hips were uneven, my legs were too skinny, I had the body of a twelve year old boy. After being pregnant, I would love to have that body back. For awhile, it was really hard for me to accept the way my body looks. My hips got wider, my legs stayed skinny, I have stretch marks on my butt and chest, my feet got bigger (yeah, I bet most of you didn't know your feet grew in pregnancy), I have a permanent "overhang", and even my teeth moved. Trust me, I could go on. But guess what? I learned to love it.
Never again will I have the body of the 12 year old boy, and I love it. I love every mark that Aden left on me. Sure, I kind of want to get a disclaimer tattooed somewhere on my body like, "Don't judge, I had a baby" or "you'll look like this too someday", but I've gone through something that not everyone can be so lucky to experience. I'm 19 (20 in 2 weeks) and have the experience of someone in their late-twenties. Yes, I try to look good because a) they dont even make mom jeans in my size and b) I'm 19 and single. You want to try to find a man wearing mom jeans? not happenin girlfriend. Babies are typically already a deal-breaker but that's another post.
I've learned that the worst thing you can do is try on jeans on how you USED to be. Sure, I can fit into 12slim shorts from kids abercrombie but in no way does that mean they are appropriate. Talk about coochie cutters. I'd rather NOT have a muffin top, thank you very much.
Also, no one tells you that at the end of your pregnancy, your lips get all big and puffy and your nose gets wider. Yeah, talk about good lookin. It goes back, but in my case, my whole face has changed. Well, embrace it. Remember the show "the swan" where they took women who society deemed "ugly" and gave them a bunch of plastic surgery just so they could look like everybody else in hollywood? You know what their real problem was? Self confidence. These women hated the way they looked. I wanted to go on and be like "Girl, this is what god gave you! Work with it!" Those women were beautiful and no one ever said that to them, instead they just "fixed" them up. Talk about the wrong message to send to young girls. "Don't worry, if you don't like how you look, we'll fix it!"
I don't want my self- confidence to come off as cockiness. I don't go around and say "Look at this, I look goooooooooood!" I try to dress confident, not slutty. I show off some skin and will rock a bikini, stretch marks and all, but out in public you can
bet I won't be wearing any coochie cutters. Confidence = Sexy. Seriously. Put on some heels and go out and strut your stuff.
I never want to call myself "fat" in front of Aden or any other children I may have someday. I never want to complain to him that I look horrible or that I hate my body. I want Aden to see that I am a strong, confident woman. If people don't like how I look, it won't ruin my day. No one will think you are sexy if you don't.
I can't even drink legally yet and I am trying to teach someone to be a decent human being. I will straight up tell you that I have no idea what I'm doing parenting-wise, don't know a thing about how to discipline properly, and pretty much do everything by ear. And let me tell you, OCD and children do not mix well. I'm not only trying to educate myself in veterinary technology, I'm trying to educate myself in parenting. I read books in my free time (free time = when I should be studying but my brain hurts) and magazines about parenting are with me all the time. I cut out articles and different crafts and paste them into a binder (separating by age) for future use. The more I read, the more I know and have some kind of general
direction. By know, I know so many things about menstrual cycles, pregnancy, childbirth, and a baby's first year then necessary. Probably to the point where I come off as a know-it-all... and not many people tend to like getting advice from a 19 year old mom. But I enjoy reading about these things so too bad, you will be seeing more random facts.
All-in-all, let's all learn to love our bodies shall we? Seriously, you should talk to some nudists. They have an unbelievable amount of self confidence!! Do something that makes you feel amazing. Mine is going tanning and doing my hair.
If I am comfortable inside my skin, I have the ability to make other people comfortable in theirs.
With that said:
And that is Ellyn Liane Peterson with zero make up on.
And this is just my beautiful number one guy.