Sunday, October 16, 2011

Everybody Waffles.

This morning I told Aden we were going to eat waffles. This was his reply:



Here are the lyrics: "Waaafffles. Waaaafffles. Everybody Waaaafffles." Because you know, everybody DOES waffle...? It sounds a lot like the Clean up song. And "Everybody" comes out "yeah buddy". I'm not sure how he came up with it but you can bet that "everybody waffles" is going to be a 2011 Hit Song.

Also, Aden had to have the amount of football he watches restricted. He does a three point stance, wait until the quarterback hikes the ball, runs a lap, and then tackles whoever is on the floor. He did it for the entire 2nd half of the OSU game. Mommy and Papa were exhausted. So now everytime football is on he just gets way too worked up to handle. Imagine Dick Butkus as a toddler.. with red hair. Run far, far away.



Oh and mom fail of the day: Finding orange play doh lodged up into your son's nose. Play doh had to be put away due to eating it, regurgitating it, inhaling it, and stuffing it up the nose. It was a long day.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Only Trust Thyself, and Another Shall Not Betray Thee

I'm going to write about something that I tend to steer clear of on my blog. My relationships.

Since Aden, I have become very protective of my feelings. I don't let many people in, not in fear of me being hurt, but in fear of my son SEEING me be hurt. I was adamant on not letting guys meet my son, why should they? If you aren't going to stick around why should I let you meet what is most important to me? Not many of them expressed an interest anyways. Over time I have become pretty hardened to the idea of love and happily ever after. You see so many people get divorced, break up, and get hurt and I realized I just didn't ever want to feel like that. Don't have feelings; don't get hurt. It worked well.

But then you meet that one person who is so persistent in breaking that wall down. Not because they care. Not because they want to be with you. Just because they can. They know what to say and how to act in every situation to manipulate you into taking that wall down.

And then they crush you.

That feeling I never wanted to feel? I felt it. That fear my son seeing me get hurt? It happened.

So much in my life is unstable right now. My school schedule, Aden's schedule, working.. I'm always frantically rushing around it seems. My schedule is tough. For once it was nice to have something stable. Someone I could talk to, someone who was supportive, someone who was on my side.

The whole situation is disgusting to me. The fact that I could get so worked up over someone is disappointing and embarrassing. The fact that I still can't listen to any song on the radio or drive anywhere without something crossing my mind and me asking myself over and over, "why did I do this to myself? Why did I do this to my son?.. is pitiful. "mora til den sterke" (mother of the strong)... is a lie. How can I teach someone to be strong when I can't even be strong myself?

I feel guilty. I feel guilty that Aden was the one comforting me. I feel guilty that I made him sleep with me 6 nights in a row. I feel guilty that Aden was the one to see me cry. I feel guilty that Aden offered me "shuey" (his most prized possession) day in and day out just to comfort me. I feel guilty that I ever passed up 1 minute of my time to spend with Aden to spend it with someone else.

I wish that I could blame this on someone else. I wish that this was someone else's fault. But doing that would only show weakness and immaturity, two traits which I never wish to possess.

It's times like these when I wish I was optimistic instead of realistic.

"Only Trust Thyself, and Another Shall Not Betray Thee"- William Penn

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Drumming In The Chicken

Remember how hitting has become an issue with Aden? Well, we have been being more strict about hitting others and how it makes them feel and all, and I thought we were making progress. That is, until SOMEONE taught him how to "drum" on his lap (aka hit his lap). Now when I see him hitting things he says "LOOK mom! I'm drumming". Newsflash AJ: People do not drum on mirrors. Or people. Or dogs. If I have to get this kid a drum set to teach him that we only drum on drums, I might go crazy. We have tried drumsticks before... not surprisingly, mom was the one who got all the battlewounds. Never argue with a toddler and a drumstick. Especially one who makes this face:

The other day, I asked Aden where shuey was. Aden smiled and pointed and said "In the chicken!" Well, here's the problem. We don't have a chicken. I asked him again and he again said "the chicken". He then ran and got shuey... in the kitchen. At least I can actually see how he got chicken out of kitchen. Unlike super clean and shuey..

Poor bubba is sick. This is the very first time (besides that time when he was 6 months old and I took him to the doctor and he had a sore throat. THAT was a big deal.) he has been sick. He just has snot everywhere. I always said I would never be that mom who had the gross crusty kid. Guess what? I have a gross crusty kid. Do you know how hard it is to teach someone to blow his nose? I mean, the kid just learned how to suck from a straw a few weeks ago. Sucking and blowing are really not strong points of his (get your mind out of the gutter, it's a child). Since he was sick, I took today off work and spoiled him rotten..Jeni's ice cream included. I don't get many days like that, so today was really special.


Today I don't know what AJ was doing but he was taking all of my underwear o
ut of the basket and saying "oh for god's sake".. which is also a quote he uses watching football (thank you grandpa for that one). I think he has a thing for underwear. I told him he could wear underwear if he used the potty and he runs over, makes me take his pants off, goes and shakes his little member over the potty and screams "ALL DONE!" then asks to put on my underwear. Okay dude, you love football and dirt as well as nailpolish and lacy under-roo's. Some may say that's odd but I just say you're well rounded. You wear those hipster boyshorts AJ!

After Aden told me he pooped his pants and I realized I forgot the wipes. This is not staged. He had control of the picture button.


And since I'm having another "why can't I be with Aden all the time" whiny day, here is a note to my boy:

Aden, I wish I could give you the world. I wish I could spend every single moment of every single day with you and teach you everything you need to know. I wish I could be wiser and make less mistakes for you. I wish you didn't have to learn things at the same time I do. I hope you never have to grow up as fast as I did. I hope you watch your mom and realize how hard it is for me to leave you and go to work or school. I love you, I miss you. It will get better.
(Am I getting repetitive yet?)

Monday, September 26, 2011

Aden's a Prince(ss)



Oh my gosh. It has been almost two months since I have posted- possibly the longest I've ever gone without updating this. Summer quarter was probably the most hectic quarter I have had so far (well, until now) and along with my job I just found myself too lazy/tired to write anything.

Aden started daycare about a month ago. Reason:
Monday- usually I work 7-2, then class at 5.
Tuesday- internship 8-4, class at 7-9
Wednesday- internship 8-4, class 7-9
Thursday- DAY OFF (though last week I had to go into my internship)
Friday- usually I work a split shift, 7-2, 3-7
Saturday- work 7-2, and if I work treatments, 5-7
Sunday- if i work treatments, 8-10am then back at 4-7.

Thankfully, he loves it. Ryan has a pretty good schedule so luckily Aden never has to stay at daycare more than 5-6 hours. One day I picked Aden up from daycare and he was sitting in the middle of the floor with a book reading and his friends were sitting all around him listening. And somehow he has worked his magic so his teachers pick him up and snuggle him when I drop him off. Though he loves it, he sure isn't a morning person. I generally have to wake him up at about 6:00am and he usually always says "no wake up mommy. no wake up" making me feel like the worst mom in the world.

Aden is hilarious now, he is a non stop talker and he has a fantastic sense of humor. The only thing I can complain about is that he is exactly like his dad. (no offense Ry) Apparently Ryan had an ungodly amount of energy when he was little and has now passed that trait onto his red-haired son. And Aden's temper...well that one is my fault... but oh my goodness he is all about temper tantrums right now. Hitting, kicking, screaming. Everything. I can't tell you how many times he has smacked me right across my face. Who would have known being bitch slapped by a two year old could hurt so bad. Those sausage fingers do NOT play around.

He also has a dangerous obsession with blocks. It is the ONLY thing he will do. Do you know what it's like to have to build with mega blocks ALL DAY every day? The problem is, you start out making these nice, elaborate towers. Aden walks away after a little bit but you get so into it that you just keep building. Then out of nowhere, Aden karate kicks the tower (onto you) and knocks it down and you get SO mad that he just ruined your perfect tower. After awhile you start stacking 5 or 6 blocks and call it a house. If you somehow manage to complete a house, you're forced to have a "birthday party" with the numerous little people. Basically Aden's
version of a birthday party is stuffing as many little people into a house as possible and then singing "happy birthday to you" (poorly) and then knocking the house down. I dont know what kind of birthday parties he has been going to, but that sounds like a straight up terrible time.

AJ has also successfully(?) transferred into a big boy bed. He goes to bed fairly easily but most nights wakes up at 3 or 4 and comes into my bed and starts poking. I honestly cannot stand him sleeping with me, a. because his little tiny body gives off the most heat that any body has ever given off. and b. because he sleeps horizontal in my bed. Actually last night, he tried something new and climbed on top of me to try and fall asleep. Literally, climbed onto my back and fell asleep. I'm not sure if he is trying to snuggle or claim my bed as his own but either way, it was not working out. Then he made me take his jammies off. And that's when I decided that sleeping nakey in my bed was not gonna fly. Luckily we got one of those torture devices that
you put on the door so AJ can't get out of his room. Whoever invented those needs a big pat on the back. If Aden needs me, he knocks (okay, throws himself into) the door and I come get him. It totally works.
Aden's not potty trained, not close to it, not interested, and just not ready. He is really into bodily functions right now. He came home from Ryan's the other day and goes "Daddy, big poop. BIG poop"... I don't know what those boys do all day, all I know is that I don't want to be involved. He doesn't even hide the fact that he is pooping anymore. He stands in the room and makes eye contact with you like, "yeah. i'm pooping in the living room. deal with it". Someday, I will get him to sit on the potty. Someday.

AJ also has a hat fetish. He likes birthday party hats, woody hats, anything. Yesterday he put on a tiara and a necklace (leftover from me from last halloween) and came up to me and goes "I'm a princess. Where's my earrings?"... Well then. Talk about things you wouldn't think you'd hear from your two year old son... And dont think I didn't give him the earrings. I did. And the ring. And he looked fancy. Sometimes, he asks me to put nail polish on his fingers. And guess what? I do. It's not that I want a girl or anything creepy like that. Aden is exploring different things and finding out who he is. Why should I tell him he can't do something because it's "girly"? The kid wears a necklace. So what? Guess how many guys I know that wear necklaces? A LOT. Granted, they aren't pink pearls, but whatever. Aden works it.


He can identify his shapes, colors, almost every letter in the alphabet and is prettttty good at counting (four and six are often left out). At the grocery store, the cashier asked if Aden could say his ABC's. Aden replied yes. She asked if he would say them for her and Aden replied "A. B. C!" way to be a smart ass Aden.


I mentioned my internship earlier, well let me explain. I am an intern at Nationwide Children's Hospital Research Facility. Primates, mice, rats, frogs, fish, chinchillas... all things that I work with. They have 15,000 mice.. talk about not being afraid of those things anymore. Basically i'm not going into it too much because it's pretty controversial. Testing vaccines and whatnot. It is super interesting and I can't wait to watch some surgeries and stuff. To be honest, the hardest part is walking through the hospital and having to see all the sick kids. It makes me feel unbelievably guilty that I have a perfectly healthy son.

Anyways, everything is going pretty well, besides the fact that we are unbelievably busy. Only a few more quarters of this, then I am free!

Saturday, July 30, 2011

"Cool" Mom


You know, I really used to think that I was going to be a "cool" mom who would never embarrass their child. And then pictures like this happen:



and I realize... Aden is going to hate me someday soon.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

The Super Clean


It's that time again! The busy, depressing, lonely, middle-of-the-quarter time when I barely get to see my baby. I can't exactly complain (shocking, I know) because I love school, I love my job, and Aden is having the most fun hanging out with his dad. It would bug me less if he wasn't so dang cute all the time. You know what he says his name is? "Anen Tiger RAAAAARR!" One can only hope when going to his first job interview he introduces himself as just that. Roaring included.

Aden is freaking phenomenal at "sports". And yeah ,I'm going to be the mom that posts videos of things you really don't care about seeing my son doing. In my eyes it is my precious little redhead hitting a baseball better than any 2-3 year old around and winning at life. In your eyes its a kid hitting a ball on a tee.

I've gotten over the whole "hating people I know when I see them out because i think they are judging me" thing. It is way more fun to hear their comments about it. Sure, I get the "dang girlll I feel bad for you" or "where is Aden now?" (actually ma'am I left him sitting on the side of the road in a puppy costume. he's got a sippy cup of lemonade- he's good.) but for the most part, people are really understanding and positive. Who doesn't like hearing that their kid is cute? The one I get the most- probably from 90% of people I run into- is "It's great to see you out!" It's so sweet but it always makes me laugh. I swear I do things. I don't just sit around by myself weeping. If I don't have homework and Aden is at his dads, what else am I going to do? Girl has got to have homies.

Anyways, potty training is slowly making an appearance into our lives. I can now get him to sit on his potty pantsless. Does that count for anything? He really hates being wet/dirty but he does not freaking get the point that all of it belongs in the potty. Speaking of.... you know what ruins a day reallll quick? fecal matter on a bed. Diaper malfunctions are the worst kind of malfunction.

Aden is all into cleaning lately. He has always had a thing for the broom (who doesn't love a good broom?) but now it's the vacuum. Correction, now it's the "super clean!" Tell me how he got "super clean" out of vacuum. Please. He throws things at the super clean to try and get it to "come after" him. Poor super clean.

As for my job, I love it. I love the people, I love the environment, and I really love being able to tell disgusting stories. Who doesn't want to hear about an amputee cat or a dog with a gaping hole in its back? Now THAT is great dinner conversation material.

Aden is getting awesome at his alphabet and learning letters. Evidence:

And here is a video I took one morning for Kayla. Apparently her dogs name are "woof woof woof", "Bento", "Rinnie", and "Yado".... I'll let her know. She's been calling them the wrong names for years.

AJ also has a new bff. Rufus. Aka Roofies or Rupert. Get the two together and it's like dumb and dumber. Aden spent 30 minutes chasing big ol' bulldog rufus around with mike the lawnmower. You know that clip from south park with paris hilton's dogs that all killed themselves? I have a feeling Aden might have a book like that someday.

p.s.- You ever heard a 2 year old say "mongoose"? Try it. You'll like it.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Family Swim Day

I've said it 500 times and i'll say it again. We like books. Aden will sit there for half the day and flip through pages of his books. Today I took some books that used to be mine and put them in Aden's room.

First of all let me tell you, all that was in there were books about how the body works, solar systems, and a bunch of world atlas books. Add that in with my rock collection, microscope, and this school picture...

... and you would have thought I grew up to be some kind of socially awkward genius.

Look at me now, mom and dad!

Yesterday was family swim day. Ronnie (see previous post if you don't know who that is) invited us over for a swim and luckily both Ryan and I were able to go and take Aden. I don't think I have ever seen a kid more in love with his dad. I knew they were going to be a lot a like but I didn't realize they were going to be the exact same person. We took turns catching Aden in the pool and bronzing (ryan wear's tanning oil, just to let everyone know).

We tried to take some family videos of Aden jumping from the couch onto my back but alas, Aden pulled my dress up and even though I was wearing bathing suit bottoms, it's still probably not classy to put it on my blog. Because you know, everything I do is classy.


Saturday, July 9, 2011

Life is Apples.

I'm one of those really annoying, overly excited parents who goes h.a.m on celebrating things that Aden does that I want him to continue doing... i.e, throwing trash away, cleaning up, reading books, working hard... you know, the reg. Usually I say "awesome!" or "good job!" Well now it's coming back to haunt me.

Aden decided that everything is awesome. Except he can't say awesome. So he says "apples".

Lately, things have been pretty apples around here. With swimming (which involves Aden jumping into the water over and over and over again until mommy's back gives out and everyone laughs at the crippled teen mom) and jeeping and rainy day movies.. i've been diggin' it.

For the first time in about 2 months i'm having a quiet weekend. Last night I played LIFE with Kayla- can we just make it clear that I was an "entertainer" (aka stripper) that lived on the beach with my husband Jamal (thank you kayla) and I STILL won at life. Kayla had like 9 kids- and today I relaxed at the pool all day and finished some work for microeconomics. By 3 I was wondering when my relaxing day would be over so I could get my boy back. What do people do when they don't have kids? Do they just sit there? What happens when they leave? Do they still get tired? How do they sleep if they aren't tired? Is drinking involved in every activity?

AJ came home with ants in his pants. Would not sit still. I'm pretty sure all he had for dinner was watermelon and a banana and a half. Good quote from Ry - "We're a little late because I tried to physically shove food down his throat. It didn't work." Really? that didn't work?

My family is apples.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Ronnie, Monkey, and Sha Ray



It has finally happened. Aden tells me he loves me. There is nothing better than putting him to bed and hearing him say "Wuh Boo Mommy". Wuh boo too baby. Wuh boo too.

I am back in school now, after my two week break. I'm taking vet surg tech, small animal health and disease, clinical applications, and microeconomics (darn business minor). I'm technically only at school tuesday nights and thursday nights- which I love, I missed my aj so much- but have a LOT of online work to do. The first day back from school I did 20 homework assignments. 20. Not exaggerating at all. The sad thing is, that didn't even make a dent in what I have to do the rest of the quarter. Talk about overwhelming.

AJ finally really enjoys his jeep. (aka he lets me sit in it and drive it while he sits next to me). You should watch us in that thing. Aden and mom tearin' up Columbus. Today we sang some Pearl Jam and drove up and down people's driveways. I hope people appreciated seeing a baby in a diaper and a mom in her bathing suit driving in a toy car. They should probably just put wheels on our house, I think we're at that level now.

Aden also came up with this horrendous "hitting" game. He hits me really
hard right in the middle of the back and runs away. Then tries to get me to hit him back. One time I lightly tapped him back to see what he would do and just got full on attacked. Bad choices by everyone.

Once again, Aden was too tired to see the fireworks. He just cannot stay up past 9. I'm fine with it, but considering my family was out of town, my fourth of july was a little bit depressing this year.

Today, Aden and I rode some escalators, read some books, and turned in the last few bits of paperwork for my new job as a vet assistant (holla back!) at VCA Mill Run. After, we celebrated by getting ice cream. Typically, I get him a bowl but I decided to be one of those fun parents that lets their kids get the cone. Turns out Aden can beast a cone. When I was little, all I remember was being miserable with a half melted ice cream cone and sticky hands. Aden got the sticky hand part, but pretty much devoured the ice cream (and then asked for more). He seriously even held the cone by himself. Am I the only one who is proud of him for that? Probably.

The best thing about watching Aden learn to talk is hearing the names he comes up with for people. Ryan's mom is Gammy, my mom is Nonny, my dad is Pop, Ryan Mccurdy (ry's bff) is Ronnie, Mike (Ryan's other bff) is Monkey. I think Ryan and I will forever refer to them as Ronnie and Monkey now. Enjoy that, guys. Lizzie = Yiddy, Kayla = Cah doo, Daryn= Don, Aunt Kaitlyn= Katie, Charla Rae = Sha Ray (he got all hood on that one), Aunt Liane = eenie. There are so many more.
He's reallll good at shapes and colors. For some reason he knows pink the best (so sorry Ryan, seriously) and then red, yellow and blue from that book "Mouse Paint". He will sit for 10 minutes going through the book over and over pointing to the colors saying "raaaad, yeddow, blue!" The video will totally prove the shapes statement.


A lot of people ask me about potty training. Aden is 28 months and really just not ready to lose diapers. I don't stress about it too much (diapers don't bother me too bad- my life revolves fecal matter and other bodily functions anyways, both human and animal) but eventually he WILL be potty trained, I promise. Until then, this is what I deal with from AJ on a daily basis (no, there is no picture of anything disgusting.)


Thursday, June 23, 2011

EESA ELLACOTUH!


This is for my sister Erika who lives in California and constantly asks me for more videos.

"EESA ELLACOTUH!"


And yeah, he calls sticks, "dicks".

After I took this video all the said the rest of the night was "YEAH YA DO!"


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Imagination Station

Today Aden and I went to Imagination Station in Toledo, Ohio! We met up with Courtney, her two kids Ada and Akay, her family, Lauren and her mom and her son Jack, and Nikki and Amethyst. Ada, Jack, Amethyst and Aden were all born in March 2009. It was seriously attack of the two year olds.

We left at about 7:45am, I actually packed/ planned everything the night before so I could sleep in as long as possible. I had to wake Aden up so we could leave on time. Good thing he's a morning person. After getting on the road, I noticed that somehow I had Aden's (yes, I'm sure it was his) pee on my shirt. I don't know why and I don't know how, but it was there. I always wondered why so many people where mom cardigans. Now I know. Thank you, Gap Mom Cardigan, for covering up my sons urine.

Shortly after I solved that problem, Veggie Tales would not eject from my CD player. That would be fine besides two things. 1) I have had a cd stuck in my cd player before. It was Kanye West. I almost killed someone. 2) It was bible songs. I can only hear how the b-i-b-l-e is the book for me so many times. I'm aware that joshua fought the battle of jericho and the walls came tumbling down. Luckily, kicking the dashboard worked like a charm. Lullaby renditions of kanye west, coldplay, and no doubt replaced the nasal-ly singing vegetables. I am okay with that.

Not much excitement went on during the 2 hour drive. Aden was awake the entire time. I may have given him a piece of chocolate for being so awesome. He's 2. Bribes and Rewards totally work now.

Things we learned at Imagination Station

1) Aden doesn't play with things. He runs around them. No explanation needed. He simply just likes to run laps around things that other kids enjoy playing with.

2) New obsession : Firetrucks. He would not leave the play ambulance and play firetruck alone. He put on the hat (backwards, duh) and thought he was the coolest kid around.

3) Aden should work at a grocery store. He can work an apron.


4) I should not.


5) Apparently I stand like a flamingo, all the time.


6) No two year old eats their lunch (hooray! I thought Aden was the only one)

7) To make the giant piano work, you have to jump on it. Curse you Tom Hanks & BIG for making it look so easy.


8) "Family Restrooms" means a big counter and a miniature toilet that is impossible for big people to use. I don't care if you're offended, I'm taking my boy into the restroom with me and using a normal sized toilet.

9) I want my own hurricane simulator.


10) I need longer shorts. (see picture of me in child's apron)

We had so much fun with our Marchie Mama's! Can't wait to do it again soon!


All Photo Cred's to Courtney and Nikki!!! Thank you for not slacking like me!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Summer Break 2011

Aden's new favorite tv show is little bill. Out of every show on Nick jr, the only one he will watch is about a family living in the hood that has absolutely no lessons in it, no learning in it, no plot, no songs... granted it's more "realistic" than backyardigans- I guess talking bugs, hippos, kangaroos, and birds are too juvenile for aj now- it's still a boring show. It's like when I was little and watched an hour of sesame street and then comes Bob Ross to ruin any excitement sesame street might have started. Apparently Aden would have picked the Bob Ross route.

Anyways, one episode is about car keys and now all Aden does is ask me for my keys. He also got into the habit of putting his hands on his face and yelling " DAAAAAAAAAAD! DAAAAAAAAD!" Thanks Little Bill. I want my two year old to do both of those things really badly.

Also, you know what sucks? two year old's ideas. Ice cream for breakfast. Ice cream for lunch. Ice cream for dinner. Everything involves ice cream. Or food. I'm thinking about putting a cheeto dangling in front of his head so he can be entertained with that for awhile. That kid is a bottomless pit. For the most part, he eats really healthy things... hummus, crackers, raspberry yogurt, craisins... but he just cannot get past his ranch and ice cream fetishes.

You know when you were little and you tried to catch you parents in a good mood and were really nice to them before subtly hinting at the fact that you wanted dessert... then before they could answer, reject yourself in hopes of them allowing it? Aden tried to do that tonight. He was snuggling and playing and laughing with me when he slyly turned to me and goes "Please?" me- "please what?" aden - "(something inaudible) ice cream? bowl? nooooooo ice cream. noo"... Guess who didn't get ice cream.

Summer break has been great so far. Starting off with Daryn's wedding (pics/ stories to come. I'm not sure if i'll be allowed back at any other functions involving her family), swimming with aj, the gay pride festival/festivities following with kayla, clippers game... and tomorrow, Aden and I are road tripping it (only 2 hours) to Toledo, Ohio to go to Imagination Station with some friends and their march 09 babies! Pictures will happen, I promise.

I still can't find the charger for my camera so still no new pictures. My bad.

Meet Mike

When it comes to toys making annoying sounds, I'm probably one of the most patient people out there. I can handle that awful ball popper, I can handle any song the leapfrog magnets sing, I can watch the same movie over and over and over again. But one toy has now succeeded in driving me absolutely nuts.

Meet Mike. Chompin' Mike the Mower to be exact. Created by playskool, obviously by either a deaf man or a person who doesn't have children or know any. at all. Every time Mike moves he yells "POWER UP! IT'S WORKING TIME! LET'S GIVE THIS LAWN A BUZZ CUT" in some god awful military-ish voice. If that's not bad enough, mike chomps. The chomping just involves his mouth moving back and forth, slamming plastic together. Over and over and over again.

Tonight I was trying to make dinner and Aden found the toy and brought it inside (he didn't have a nap today and wouldn't stop crying, just take the damn thing inside if that will make you happy, i don't care) This was all fine and dandy until he decided to run laps around the island in the kitchen. He may as well been beating me over the head with that thing. I considered sticking my hand in with the chicken in the grill pan, just because it would at least get my mind off of that sound and probably cause less pain.... but instead, I lost it.

I walked over during a brief milk break, took Mike, opened the back door, and threw him outside. This obviously traumatized Aden, seeing his beloved Mike being tossed out the backdoor yelling "IT'S WORKING TIME".... F**k you mike. Work on that. Aden was cured with some ranch dressing. And Mike is never allowed in the house again.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Choopth and Toot

One thing that is way new to me is this whole "i'm a real person and have my own opinion". There is no sitting AJ down and saying "this is what we are doing"... no. My little firecracker wants to do it his way, all the time. Today I said "stop being a wienie whiner"... his reply? "You're a wienie whiner" Touche, Aden. Touche.

He points me in directions (from the stroller or car seat of course) on our walks and car rides. You know, because I am not his mother and don't know directions. He knows best. That whole 2 years he has been alive... he has mastered the city of Columbus.

The names he comes up with are downright hilarious. Chips and Juice has turned into "Choopth and Toot." Charla Rae has turned into "Sha Ray", Lizzie into "Yiddie", Ice cream into "Hi Keen", Spoon into "moon" and the best- berry yogurt (he will only eat raspberry yogurt) "Buhhdy Yoga".

If he thinks something is a good idea, he will try to convince you of it. "Ice cream? Yeah? Yeah!" (nodding his head vigorously) "No, no ice cream honey" "ICE CREAM! YEAHHHHHHH!" Good luck trying to get that out of his head. Somehow he got introduced to the wonderful world of ice cream and has no plans on leaving anytime soon. Let's see, he got red hair from his dad, a crazy personality from his dad, a mean streak from me, and a sweet tooth from me. It's like God just said, "let's take every bad trait from both of them and create a child for them to watch while they go to school full time. It will be hilarious." Thank you, we deeply appreciate this.

My favorite thing right now is our nighttime ritual. We do bathtime, at the end of which he backs his naked self into me and lays down for a teeth brushing (you ever seen a naked baby back that thang up? Awkward and hilarious!) then runs into his room naked- screaming like the little gremlin he is. He gets dressed for bed and we pick out some books, do some puzzles, play with trucks and whatnot. When I put him to bed, every single time, without fail, his voice gets about 3 times higher and he says "bye mommy!!!! bye honey!!!! night sugar!" and blows me a kiss. It makes my day.
(by the way--- Katie Bentley, if you read this.. Aden kept pointing to that woman and saying "Katie! Katie!" over and over again. )

On a serious note,

I've found myself clinging to Aden since I got back from Nashville. I feel like Aden is what I have right now. I cannot explain how much I missed him this quarter. There were so many times I cried myself to sleep because I only got to see him for a few hours during the day. The worst part is, it's not going to get any better. Luckily this summer i'm taking an online class and my other two classes are only 2 nights a week, but in the fall... I don't even want to think about it. I'm not sure if many people know this but I'm not only getting my associates degree, I'm getting my bachelors in animal science and minor in business at OSU. I waited until I was done with all of my general classes with my associates and now I'm onto the rest of my general classes with OSU. I'm looking at 18 credit hours and an internship this fall, if things go well. It's going to be a lot of really hard work but if this is what it takes to give my son the life he deserves, I will do it. (by the way, with all these degrees I'll be looking for a job in veterinary pharmaceutical sales)

I miss being a hermit. I miss staying in my house, not worrying about what I look like, what i'm doing over the weekend, etc. I miss being boring. Mostly, I just miss structure. I feel like I'm just going day by day, not knowing what is going on or what is going to happen next. Someone take me back to the baby days where it was just Aden and I at home all day with a set feeding schedule and no noise but the sound of his swing putting him to sleep.

It's going to get better. It's going to get better. It's going to get better. It's going to get better. It's going to get better.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Update: The Doopy Book

I found out what the Doopy Book is.

"No, David, No". Apparently David = Doopy. He was "reading" the book today and kept saying "doopy! Come back! Come back here!" (When David runs naked down the street) So there we go. Doopy Problem Solved.

We actually got to have a nice, relaxing bath complete with a Towel Toga. What? Your parents didn't make you a toga out of your bath towel and march behind you saying "TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!"? That's unfortunate for you.

One thing that amazes me about AJ is his ability to find food. The other day he had an almond in his hand. I don't even think we have almonds here. He also found an easter egg filled with jelly beans, a bag of oatmeal squares, and for awhile he was somehow getting sour skittles. I'm not sure if he hoards that stuff or what but it's amazing.

New favorite thing to do is feed the dog uncooked macaroni. It's the only thing he can reach in the pantry so he'll grab a handful and leave a little trail. Teddy totally eats it. Poor dog. I think he is sick of eating the yogurt and oatmeal squares off of the table. Him and Ted are still bff's. Aden recently learned that the dog knows how to shake. Teddy will be laying down under the table trying to sleep, and Aden will run over, crawl under the table and yell "TEDDY SHAKE! TEDDY SHAKE!" and grab his back leg and move it up and down, laughing hysterically. Teddy is on suicide watch.

On Friday, I was making my bed and Aden went downstairs. I come down a few minutes later and find Aden sitting on a chair outside, "reading a book". I swear he is a 5 year old. He beats me up, he goes H.A.M. when he plays sports with his dad, and he chillaxes by reading books. I mean, Ryan can throw a ball at him and he will hit it with the bat.

Cannot wait until the bat becomes a weapon.


Thursday, June 2, 2011

Things I learned

On Saturday morning, we left for Daryn's bachelorette party in Nashville, Tennessee. It was the longest I have ever been away from Aden and after crying for the first hour I was away from him (I dropped him off Friday evening) I actually did pretty well.


Things I Learned In Nashville:

1) Cicada's are aggressive. Those beastly bugs go right for the face. We didn't look tourist-y at all, running around screaming and dropping our purses trying to get away from them. Dis. Gusting.

2) God Hates Whores. Right after I finished dropping it like it's hot with a street dancer (Thank you Daryn for forcing me to do that and for video taping it as well) we walked across the street and 3 young girls wearing neon green t-shirts with big black letters on them looked at Kayla and screamed "GOD HATES YOU, YOU WHORE!" Everyone around us was just flabbergasted. Who even says that to people you don't know? I believe I yelled "I HAVE A CHILD" (because you know, that makes you immune to such comments) Most ridiculous thing ever.

Before we found out that God hates us

3. Going to the Jack Daniels Distillery whilst still feeling the effects from the night before is NEVER a good idea. Being in 95 degree weather, smelling 140 proof whiskey. You tell me how I felt.
Jack Daniels was a 5'2" womanizer who was probably molested by a preacher.

4. I am not immune to sunburn. Something that is also not a good idea- slathering on oil with no SPF, sitting in the sun for 6 hours. And encouraging others to do it with you. "Come on guys! Go h.a.m. on this suntan oil with me! You won't burn!" Wrong, Ellyn. So wrong.


5. I would not have survived the college lifestyle. Though it was amazing, I could never do that every weekend. I felt so lazy- even though I lost a few pounds walking up and down broadway and demonbreun- and unproductive. At least now I have a kid so I have an excuse for being a total loser and not going out.

(always be nice to the quiet australian in the corner)

6. I have the best friends in the world

Doopy Books and Elmo Socks


Since I went out of town last weekend and then had class late on Tuesday and Wednesday, I hadn't given Aden a bath in a week. (I don't make him sit around in his own sweat, his dad gives him a bath.. I think.) Bath time has always been one of my favorite times just because he loves it so much and is an absolute goofball. So of course, I made the mistake of looking forward to giving him a bath.
Right before, we were in my room playing and he walks into his room and starts asking for socks. I'm kind of used to this by now considering one of his favorite things to do is have me put socks on him, leave them on for 4 minutes, and then throw them across the room. I just kind of ignored it and started getting things ready for his bath.

He got a little whiny so I thought suggesting going into the bathroom for his bath would help. Wrong. The breakdown begins. It got to the point where I had to carry him into the bathroom and stand in front of the door. He was getting a bath. He had been outside all day and i'm pretty sure there were 8 different layers of dirt on his feet. I put him in the tub and he flung himself onto me and just kept crying and screaming. I knew he was tired but wow. This was the worst 2 year old tantrum he has had, by far. Finally I sat on the edge of the tub, sat him on my lap and started washing him. This is when I started to understand what he was saying. "Elmo socks". He was crying for his rainbow socks with Elmo's face on them. The $1 pair of socks I bought at Target last christmas. My kid just cried for 20 minutes because he wanted to put frickin socks on.

Then, after that he got mad that I didn't read him the "doopy" book. I have no idea what the doopy book is. I called Ryan frantically "WHAT IS THE DOOPY BOOK!? HELP ME! I JUST NEED THE DOOPY BOOK!" Turns out- no one knows. He settled for "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie".

Someday I will be able to understand him. Until then, here's to the doopy book and elmo socks.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Single Parenting Together


Adens baptism May '09

Being a single parent is really hard. The more you work with the other parent, the easier it is.

Ryan and I try really hard to work together as parents. We don't want to just be civil, we want to be friends. We try to do family things, we talk on the phone, tell each other our problems, comfort the other, motivate the other, etc. Don't get me wrong, we argue and disagree on some things, but overall I think we are doing well, especially for being so young. No one knows what our situation is like so having that common ground and being able to talk to each other about it really helps.

Aden loves both of us, equally. I don't want him to grow up and hear me saying nasty things about his dad or his dad saying things about me. It's not his fault that we aren't together and it wouldn't be fair to him if we raised him in such a hostile environment when he had no choice in the matter.

Ryan is one of the funniest people I know, by far. He has the greatest personality and being his friend is awesome. I don't think this text was supposed to be funny, but the other day he got halfway down his street on his way to class before he realized he didn't have a shirt on. He frantically told me "I DONT EVEN HAVE TIME TO GET DRESSED!" Sad? yes. True? yes. Still hilarious? Of course. And who else gives drive by compliments?! Drive by compliments are just like they sound- when someone drives by or you drive by someone, give em a compliment. Like, "Hey! I LIKE YOUR SHIRT!"... try it. Dare you.

I'm not saying we have an ideal parenting relationship. Because we don't. But the thing that is most important to both of us is Aden. We would do anything for him. We want to show Aden that we ARE a family, just a different kind. We get along, we hang out, we are friends.

One thing though: Ryan. If you tell Aden that mommy has big poops again... I will destroy your votto jersey.


Payback time.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Nasal Conchae and More Fun Adventures


This week has been UH- mazing. I didn't have class Monday (so Aden was with me all day) and Ryan went out of town for his sister's graduation so Aden is with me all weekend too!

This week Aden learned where his nasal conchae, pupil, patella, and umbilicus are. You don't even want to know the weird looks people gave me at the grocery store when my son was leaning over the side pointing up his nose screaming "CONCHAEEEE! CONCHAEEE!"

Saturday we sat outside at Kaylas with a baby pool (that took seriously an hour for me to blow up) and Aden was in heaven. I'm pretty sure he thought it was the best day of his life. There were dogs everywhere, kitties, water, a watering can, play fishes, and shu. We were there from noon until 4:30. He didn't have a nap before so within minutes of putting him in the car, he was passed out pete.****

He slept from 5 to 7... worst nap time ever. I thought for sure he wasn't going to go to bed until midnight. He had some taquitos, blueberries, and carrots, watched a little bit of toy story 3, then went up for bed. He was out by 8:30.

****that is the shortened happy version of the story. Here is the unabridged "kill me now" version. We were supposed to go to the pool with Kayla at her apartment complex. She called and made sure it was open and had seen people swimming there so we went. We get the 5,000 bags necessary to take a toddler swimming and entertain him for a long period of time, get to the outside of the gate and see the "no swimming, layout only". Wow. Really?! I try to pull Aden aside to a lawn chair but it's too late. He saw the pool. He throws himself down on the ground and screams "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" (water) and EVERYONE looks over and sees my kid thrashing around on the cement sobbing his eyes out. Keep in mind this is full of girls ages 18-24 probably wanting to relax but instead being distracted by a red headed 2 year old screaming like a banshee.

We immediately pack back up and leave and go get a baby pool at the store. Here, Aden decides he wants a ball. I decide he may not have a ball. Tantrum begins. Aden has this talent of going completely limp and unlocking his shoulders so it's impossible for my weak little rubber band arms to pick him up. A man watched me mouth "I hate my life" (totally jokingly) to Kayla. I wanted to cry. Walk away from Aden who is sitting on the ground crying. He follows. with a ball. I put the ball back, put my purse down (he knows that when moms purse goes down, he is screwed) sling him over my shoulder, pay for the baby pool at the register (where he continues to ask for a pack of m&ms) and leave. It was so embarrassing. His tantrums have been absolutely out of this world lately and it is plain frustrating. I'm 21. I'm typically a patient person but when you get the same thing every freaking day it gets just irritating.

You cannot be mad at this face for more than 5 minutes though....

Monday, May 16, 2011

Mom is a jungle gym

Aden has decided that the most fun thing to climb and jump on is his mom. Today I got proof. Physical abuse by a 2 year old.


I'm in a leg headlock by my 2 year old. You have got to be kidding me.

But then he makes it up by being super cute and watching 2 minutes of backyardigans before trying to break my neck again:


And then he makes faces because he can see himself.

Sometimes, Aden will start crying and walk over to the mirror just to watch himself cry. Definitely voting him for most conceded 2 year old boy. "Hey mom! Come and see how good I look!"