Saturday, February 26, 2011

Stop Talking.

In the days leading up to Aden's 2nd birthday, I'm going to be posting some videos! The first one I'm going to post is a lesson to all men when their girlfriend/wife is in labor. Just. Stop. Talking.

At this point when Ryan claims I am "tired", my epidural had stopped working and I was on my way into full active labor. I could feel everything. I was focusing on breathing and not punching anyone in the face. When Ryan says that the video is blurry because of the lighting, I remember thinking "God if you turn on that light I am going to slap you in the face". This was 2 hours before Aden was born so you KNOW things were happening.

Also, I love it how Ryan says he is tired. Not only is it only 10:30 at night, but he had gotten a good sleep at home the night before. I had been in the hospital since Wednesday with an IV stuck in my arm the entire time (including while sleeping), peeing into a jug, getting my blood drawn 2-3 times a day, and then having contractions the entire day but no Ry, you must be EXHAUSTED.*

Another thing to NOT do. There is a machine next to the bed that shows the intensity and duration of each contraction. It shows up on the paper right before the woman feels it. DO NOT stand by the bed and state "WHOA that was a big one!" THANK YOU. I did not know that I was in crippling pain. I need you to point out how painful they are while you stand happily and not in pain next to me.

For real.

Probably the best thing to do is not to try and comfort her or tell her to breathe. I remember my mom goes "it's okay, just breathe" and in the nastiest tone I could I yelled "THANKS MOM!"... she almost left the room. My bad, mom. Love you! The best thing to do is cheer her on and tell her how great she is doing and that she can do it! Or in my case, that Wendy's is open until 2am.

So this is what labor looks like when your epidural starts to not work. Be happy that I don't have one when I could feel everything. There was some screaming. And maybe some snapping at nurses.

*I mean this in a joking way. I have told Ryan this like 300 times. Don't think i'm hatin on him.

**Also, when he said I was 6cm. I was 8.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Ride it

Aden has this really weird habit of riding me like a horse. **

Disturbing image right?

Get your minds out of the gutter. I mean throwing himself on my back and jumping up and down and going "doo doo doo" like he is a jockey in a horse race. It's realllly really funny but at the same time painful. It usually turns into him stepping on my back and jumping off. And then into him throwing his entire body as hard as he can onto me.

Today I took pictures of this.

And then he decided to lay on the ground and flail himself back and forth.
The past couple of days with him have been SO awesome, another reason i've been so emotional. He knows how to say "ryan" now, which I think is just awesome. I like that my name is impossible for young children to say. That way, Aden will never learn my name and will have to call me mom (or money I guess) forever. HA. Anyways, it's been a lot less whining. Possibly the most annoying sound ever is him going "eh eh eh eh eh" pointing to something. We are learning to USE WORDS, especially please. Some new favorite words are "bread" and "run!"

By far, the cutest thing he has done this week is "singing" his "ABC's". His version is swaying back and forth with his hands behind his back going "c c c c eeeee c c". Omg. Hello awesomeness. I'm in the process of getting a video. Relax.

**I could have changed the wording. But I didn't. Because it's HILARIOUS. Also, I swear I don't take pictures of Aden and I all day. I tried to take one good one but they came out so fantastic.

All about my thyroid

I've been meaning to update about my thyroid! Because I know everyone really cares about the little gland in my neck that makes shit get crazy.

My first bloodwork came back with high TSH, so I had to go get an ultrasound check to make sure my thyroid wasn't enlarged or anything. The ultrasound kind of sucked and made my throat swollen... it feels realllllly weird to get a thyroid rubdown. Anyways, the day our power went out I got a letter in the mail saying that I have "multiple small cysts- all appear to be benign". The benign part = good. The cyst part? Well, i'm pretty sure no one really wants a bunch of cysts hanging out anywhere in their body. I went back to get MORE bloodwork done and see if my TSH was any lower (it was 2.5 weeks later) and FINALLY got the results.

My TSH is normal! That means that yeah, there are cysts but they aren't causing any damage to my thyroid. I haven't heard from my doctor in awhile so I don't know if I'm supposed to just hang out with these things in my neck or what. Whatever! All I know is that I'm gaining weight and feeling better. Huzzah!

Now on to getting my wisdom teeth out. This is going to be so much fun! yaaaaay!

Planned Parenthood

Can I just say that planned parenthood helped me out the most when I first found out I was pregnant? I was 18, had no idea what was going on, and literally thought everyone went there.

Here are some things you probably don't know:

1) Planned Parenthood offered abortion as a choice that someone could make but it was made clear that they do NOT tell you where you can go to have this done.
2) Planned Parenthood gave me my due date of March 27 on August 1st, 2008. I couldn't get into my doctor until September, when I was nearly 12 weeks along (which is common, but for a teen mom it was really best to know early)
3) A lady took me, alone, into her office, told me I was pregnant, and gave me about 20 pamphlets talking about free programs they have, free sonograms, and adoption. Not one was about abortion.
4) After I left, I kept in contact with the woman I talked to. She called me about once a month to check up on me and just talk. It was the most helpful thing I have ever had a stranger do for me. The last phone call I had was just before Aden's first birthday.
5) Not to mention the fact that they do free HIV screenings, free STD tests, birth control, and cancer screenings.

This is my experience with the Planned Parenthood in Columbus. It was fantastic.


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

T minus 13 days

I think there comes a point in every mom's life when they realize that their child isn't ever going to be a baby again. For me, that point was today. And it was depressing.

I don't know if it's the fact that his 2nd birthday is coming up in 13 days or if it's the fact that he told me he wanted ice cream in a bowl for lunch, but it hit me hard that I will never have that 7 pound little squishy baby back. The one who slept in until 9 right next to me in my bed, the one who only smiled at my voice, the one who I would wake up with 3 times a night to feed. I remember how quiet the house was and how I would just stare at him when he slept.

Another thing that hit me today- In just 2011, I have been called a "fake mom", I've been told that I'm selfish, I've had people say that they don't like me who don't know me, I've been told that I'm not fun, I've had people who I thought were my friends completely betray me, I've been called every name in the book... I like to think of myself as kind of a strong person, but there is only so much one person can take. I mean what is this, high school? So I ask all of you calling me these names and saying horrible things about me- Do you know me at all? Do you know my situation? Do you know my side of the story? Do you know what really happened?

My guess is, you don't.

When sad times happen, Aden knows it. Today we sat in his room and I watched this happen:
and then I cried. Because sometimes, people suck.

P.S.- don't whine if I delete you on facebook. It's facebook. And I probably have a reason I don't want you looking at pictures of me or my son.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Mora Til Den Sterke

Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I have wanted a mom tattoo. I have one tattoo already, on my hip. It's the belt of Orion (3 stars) that my two sisters and I have. Bro tat baby!

When Aden was born, I knew I wanted his initials (ajk) somewhere on my body. It had to be some place that I could add more names if I had more children. I chose my wrist. When thinking about that, I decided maybe I wanted a little something more. My family is A LOT scandinavian, my mom always tells us to "BUCK UP! You're a viking!" I've grown up thinking being norwegian was bad ass. And I wanted a bad ass tattoo. So no doubt I wanted something in the language of bad ass.

I looked up different sayings that I came up with on my own. All typically beginning with "Mother of".. eventually I came up with Mora Til Den Sterke... Mother of the strong. I think it's pretty explanatory... my children are/will be strong. In many ways.

SO. I made a tattoo appointment. For February 18th. I told a few people about the appointment like my sisters and my close friends but that's about it. I figured not everyone is going to like my tattoo and is probably going to try to convince me out of getting it. But I like it. And that's all that matters.

Anyway, I went to Durb Morrison (who did my stars and my sisters stars) who is absolutely amazing. He took his time to adjust the font and make sure it was the size I wanted and was perfect in every way. I am SO happy with how they turned out..

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Seben. Seben. Nine. Seben.

I keep thinking of all these really great posts I could do. And then I forget them. So it turns into a whole bunch of random stories that really don't make sense because I can't tell a story to save me life. And that's what this post is going to be. A bunch of random things that really have no point.

First off, Aden learned the word please. Which comes out as "peeeeeees".. Probably one of the cutest things ever. Right now I have him convinced that if I say please, he has to do it. Example : "aden can mommy have a kiss?" "Noooo" "please?" and then he kisses me. Works every time. Hopefully that'll keep up for the next, eh 20 years or so? me:"aden can you not do drugs?" aj:"meh" me: "please?"... see where i'm going with this?

Aden is also learning so many new words. And they aren't really "normal" words either. He knows the basics- Mommy, Daddy, Dog, Cat, Book, Milk.. all of that. But he knows what a porcupine says too. (it's a long story but basically it's like a hissing sound of a cat when the quills stand up. Go with it.) He knows cheese, pizza, snack, blue, jelly (that one comes out alllll messed up. like eye- eej), socks, shoes, smoothie (me), yogurt.. just random stuff. Today I heard him repeating his toy that counts 1 to 10. Seven was his favorite number so he kept repeating "seben. seben. seben. niiiiiiiieeeene. seben." Hey bud, whatever gets you there.

He likes everyone to go everywhere at all times. If we go down to the basement, the whole family comes. One person gets the honor of carrying blankie, another gets the honor of carrying him, and whoever is left gets to parade sadly behind everyone feeling rejected by a toddler. (usually me.)

He calls his blanket Shoe-y. He calls the slide the "wee". He calls my mom nonny. When he REALLY wants something, he just yells "MOM" no matter who is watching him. So polite. Am I the only one that can't believe he is almost two?! What happened!?

I feel bad because school is really difficult right now and I feel like i'm half-assing being a mom. I wish I had the time and energy to do everything I want to do with Aden but I just can't. I had an exam last week, an exam Tuesday, and an exam Thursday. Imagine how sad I was when Aden started screaming and crying when I handed him off to Ryan. He just wanted mom time (as crazy and independent as he acts he still loves mom-time. He is a closet mama's boy). Luckily this week I don't have any tests and get Aden tonight until next Saturday night.

I forgot half of the things I was going to put in this post. Dang it.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011


My son is not even 2 yet and can play catch, or "tatch" as he says it.

This deserves some video props.

OSU should probably start recruiting him now... just sayin...

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Eets Imported

Okay so I know I posted this on my facebook but I thought I'd post it here too so it won't get too lost! Seriously, my eyes started watering when my sister showed me this video for the first time.

Some notes about the video:
a) he's been saying he is 2 for the past three months now. 2 is the only number he can say and it's ALMOST correct, so just go with it. I've been trying to get him to say it on video but he usually gets all shy or starts crying for food. (true life: my kid's addicted to food.. primarily yogurt and nilla wafers)
b) Apparently both Ryan and I say "no no no" enough to make him rat us out.
c) He is a way better performer for aunt lizzie than he is for his mommy

Other exciting life events:
-Aden and I had an awesome mommy-son dinner. I made his favorite- homemade mac n cheese, blueberries, and cucumbers. It really doesn't take much to please him.
-Last night Pippa and I went to see "No Strings Attached"... I think both of us wanted to shoot ourselves after it (single moms watching other people unrealistically fall in love, i mean...come on) but it was still funny!
- Before the movie, we went to get coffee and a foreign man (thick accent and some name that started with a G-) goes "I love yo har cahlor. ees it imported?" I don't even want to know what my face looked like when I looked at Pippa to help me out but I replied with a smile "thanks! It's mine." Was that correct? I mean, it is mine. It's not from Russia or something... I just slap some good ol' hydrogen peroxide on any hair that appears a color other than white.. that doesn't mean it's imported though!

-Speaking of that, mama done got her hair did today. Usually, I just do it with literally a tub of bleach and have Caity do it (yessss I know what I'm doing, my hairdresser told me to) but about every 6 months or so, I go in to have it done. I loooove the girl who does my hair, Amanda. I don't think she would cut or dye my hair a different color even if I begged. She trimmed me up today and made my hair look and feel 5,000 times better.
-here's something I bet you didn't know- when I was little, I NEVER had long hair. I always had my hair in a bob. This is the longest my hair has ever been. I definitely learned my lesson 2.5 years ago when I dyed my hair brown (wtf, brown isn't even my natural hair color) and cut all of my hair off.

Anyway, here's my imported hair... that I guarantee you can't even tell got anything done to it.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Rollin' with the Punches

Oh. My. God. The past 3 days have just been one giant ball of sucking.
We got hit with this giant ice storm on Tuesday evening. Well, Tuesday night at about 11pm, right after I had started chugging an energy drink in attempt to study for my parasitology exam, the power went out. I always forget that power out = internet out = no studying. I figure, whatever it will come on by morning. I do some complaintexting to caity and go to bed at 1ish. Guess what? The power doesn't come on.

Aden wakes up at 5:30. Do you KNOW how dark it is at 5:30? Really dark. We make our way downstairs and immediately Aden starts screaming for waffles. How in the world do you explain to a 22 month old that the power is out? I started making an attempt but then neither of us could figure out what I was talking about so I just gave up and offered yogurt. He was content. Until he found out he couldn't listen to the Elf soundtrack or watch backyardigans. That's when the tears came.

It was about 7 by this time and I had enough power left in my computer to put in a dvd of Barney. The house was dropping in temperature so we snuggled in my bed and watched it, then took a nap. Aden woke up at 1030ish and my mom suggested we go over to Charla's. By this time Aden's nose was running from the cold (even though he had on cotton jammies with fleece footy pajamas on top) and it was going to be lunchtime pretty soon. We packed some things up- diapers, milk, toys, switched the car seat to my mom's car because mine had a thick sheet of ice over it, and headed over to charla's (aden's godmother). Immediately Aden started destroying the place- as two year old boys often do. You know, riding animals, putting fake fruit into plants, closing all the doors... just the norm. At 3:30, our power still wasn't on and I needed to go back home to get my scrubs and apparently some pajamas for Aden. Ryan's dad and stepmom were going to allow us to stay at there house since they already have a crib, diapers,
milk, etc. At our house, I had a letter from my doctor about the ultrasound results, giving me some not-so-pleasant news (which I will post later about when I know more) and reminding me to go get more bloodwork done. Faaaaaantastic.

On my way to class, I try to call my doctor to get more information about my thyroid and they tell me she will call right back. Then my phone dies. Great. I go to class and afterwards realize that I don't have my car seat! I drive back to Charla's to get it from my mom, only to find out that she had given it to Ryan to give to me when he had picked up Aden to take him to his dad's. I call Ryan from my mom's phone to make sure he left the car seat and oops- he forgot. I
drive BACK to where I just came from, pick up the car seat, and drive alllll the way to Hilliard. It's now 9pm on Wednesday. I get situated at Ryan's house, do some homework, and realize that my computer charger stopped working. Perfect. I do what I can before my computer dies, and go to sleep. Ryan's dad was AWESOME and woke up with Aden on Thursday morning so I could get some sleep. I woke up at 8:30 and immediately started packing things up. My sister's school had closed so she agreed to help me run some errands. At 9:15, I reinstall the car seat in my car, pack everything up, and go pick Lizzie up.

We go to the place for the blood draw (or what I thought was the place) and I run in to get it done. Turns out it was a doctor's office and they had no idea what I was talking about. Go me. She tells me to try next door at the Moorehouse. We pull into this HUGE building- it's like a mini hospital- and attempt to find a place to park.. I choose the parking garage. First of all, there are so many dang pillars in that garage that I could not get a good parking spot. I finally backed in and had about 3 inches of room to squeeze out the door. We called my doctor's office to make SURE this was where we were supposed to go (seriously, it was huge) a
nd after waiting on the line for 10 minutes, they confirmed that yes, this was indeed where I was supposed to be.

Aden wakes up from sleeping in the car so we get out the giant stroller and put him in. I forgot to mention, the parking garage had a thick layer of ice all over it as well. Imagine skating and pushing a stroller. Not an easy task.

We probably should have noticed the signs that said "elevators located on 1a, 2b, a
nd 3b before we parked... we parked on 3a. This required us to carry the stroller down a flight of stairs to get to the elevator. There was an audience of course. We get to the reception area and after not-so-nicely calling my name to register (There was no line and I signed my name in. The lady did not approve) they asked for a photo ID. NO problem, I just had it out when we were at the wrong place. Turns out it WAS a problem and I started looking frantically for my license. It wasn't anywhere. Luckily the lady hated her job enough to not even care anymore and just put in my date of birth and my doctor and sent me over to the lab (which I again got lost walking to).

At the lab, she starts digging around in my vein trying to get the blood to come out. She finally gets it and afterwards goes "Yeah, you're probably going to have a little bruise there, sorry about that! The vein kept running away!" Again, perfect. By this time, it's 11am and I haven't had one thing to eat yet. We make our way to the car, Lizzie is carrying Aden and I'm pushing the stroller (much easier that way). It's kind of difficult to get Aden in his car seat since my car is so small, so I always do it and Lizzie puts away the stroller. She goes to hand him to me, almost falls, but catches herself. For some reason, I found her facial expression to be hilarious and could NOT stop laughing. Between that, being weak, and my right arm not being able to bend all the way from the bandage she put on, I couldn't get Aden into his seat. At one point his face was pointed towards the back of his car seat and he was wedged in the middle of the seats. Mother of the year, I know. Lizzie stepped in and lifted him in and I buckled him, still
while laughing hysterically. I really hope a security camera captured this on video because it would definitely make a hit youtube video.

We go to our house (still no power) get MORE clothes for both of us, a pack n play, more toys, some books, bath wash, and other essentials. We then stop at Wendy's (my addiction for the past week) and get Aden some chicken nuggets. Definitely not what I like my child to have for lunch but a)we were on the go and there was NO power at my house, let alone anything to eat b) we had more errands to run and c) it was on our way and had a drive thru.

We go to the mall and I get my computer charger. Nothing else exciting happens at the mall besides Aden having to be carried out of the mall kicking and screaming because he wanted to walk up and down the food court and we needed to go. After the mall we stop at Krogers to pick up baby wipes, milk, and sippy cups. Then we go back to Lizzie's house, where we stayed the night.

We actually got power around 6pm on Thursday night but the house still wasn't going to be warm enough for us to sleep there, and I really didn't feel like lugging everything I had just brought over, back to our house. Aden woke up at 6am. By 9:15am I had Aden fed, dressed, and out the door, everything packed up and in the car, done dishes, and we were on our way home. By 9:45am I had thrown out everything that went bad in the fridge and freezer, started laundry, put back all the luggage we brought, gave Aden a snack, cleaned Aden's room and my room, and put Aden down for a nap.

This is my 3rd trip upstairs with some of our luggage and the empty hamper. No make up, tired eyes, pajama's... the works.

These 3 days have been some of the hardest days since he was born. It's really hard to be traveling around by yourself so much with a 2 year old, not knowing when your power will be back on, and relying on other people to keep you warm. These are the times that make me wish that I wasn't a single mom and had someone on the other end helping me out. But these are also the times that make me stronger, that are empowering, that make me a better person, a better woman, and a better mom. Thank you SO much to the Kigers, to the Bartelts and especially to my sister Lizzie for helping us out.

I'm going to go take a lonnng hot bath and thank God for what I have.

P.S.- congratulations if you made it this far... this was a looooong post