Monday, March 28, 2011

And So It Begins...

Spring break was NOT long enough. My brain needed a week to recover from the hell that was last quarter. Because of that, I didn't do much of anything. Except sleep. Usually I would be super excited because this is the last quarter before summer, but sadly, I don't get a summer vacation this year. I think 2 weeks at the beginning and 2 weeks at the end. Something like that. Oh well, Welcome to real life, right?

This is my schedule this week:

Monday- Class 6-9
Tuesday- Class 5-7:30, PACT after
Wednesday- PACT before, Class 6-9
Thursday- Class 5- 6:30
Friday- Ryan's night with Aden
Saturday- Weekend PACT 8am- 11am
Sunday- Weekend PACT 8am-11am, Aden with Ryan in the afternoon

And then of course I'll be up until 1am or later doing all of my homework/lecture notes for the week.

You know what is going to be really awesome? I get my wisdom teeth out April 8th (Friday). Luckily, Ryan is taking Aden Friday, Saturday, and Sunday so I get THREE DAYS recovery time. I don't even care about the pain, I haven't had that many days off in a row... ever. P.S. Ryan needs a sitter for aj that friday while he is in class so if you can do it, hit him up.

On top of those 3 days in April (which i'm guessing wont be fun at all), I am going out of town for Memorial Day weekend. My friend, Daryn, is having her bachelorette party... in Nashville!!! There are 5 of us going and I could NOT be more excited. Ryan will have Aden friday-monday... male bonding time. Aden needs it. He loves hair gel and finger nail trims and "cool guy" jeans. I have never met a more metrosexual 2 year old.

Oh, remember my post about inappropriate songs I sing to Aden? Here's a few more to add to the list.

- Rich Boy, "Throw some D's"- the song goes "throw some d's on that b****, just bought a cadillac" but we just sing it when we are cooking and change the words to "throw some cheese on that dish". By "we" I mean me with Aden saying "cheese" over and over again.

- Nicki Minaj, "Check It Out"- Aden seriously loves this song. He sings along with it and goes "oh oh oh oh oh ohhhh"

Aden is talking more than ever and usually talks 2-4 words at a time. Today at lunch he said "non, pop, daddy. Where dee go?" He's also obsessed with counting. He likes to point to things and have my count to 5 over and over again. He's so awesome.

Jumping is new favorite. He has been able to jump for awhile but now he likes to jump on beds and jump off of things. There is nothing cuter than a jumping toddler. And I will prove that with these pictures:

That is one handsome redhead.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Quiet Monster

Aden learned how to open doors. All doors.

I was in the laundry room listening to music and Aden was in the kitchen, right next to me. It was probably about 50 degrees outside. Not cold, but definitely not hot. Apparently Aden opened the door and wandered around outside in the mud with no shoes on and a short sleeve t shirt. I caught him outside singing to himself, spinning in circles, holding a stick.

Then I found him out in the garage sitting in an empty baby pool. Don't ask me how he got that thing down, it was hanging on a wall.

Probably the highlight of our day (besides the pterodactyl-like screeching) was when I came in to get him from his nap and when he saw my face, he immediately said "ew." and pretended to be sleeping. Rejected.


You know how Aden is a gross boy who doesn't care if he sits in the same diaper all day? Well today he reached behind him, grabbed his diaper and goes "mommy. uh oh. poop." I changed him and guess what? THERE WAS POOP! Then later he was running around with his diaper off and I asked him if he had to go to the bathroom. He ran to the toilet, sat there for a second, got up, tore off a piece of toilet paper, put it in the toilet, flushed, and ran away. Granted he actually missed the point of going to the bathroom and wiping but whatever, at least he knows what it is for. Ryan and I are really working together with the potty training deal. It's not going to happen any time soon we are guessing but introducing it won't hurt.

Today I tried a different approach to the screaming. Instead of time out (Aden really just likes to push buttons and see what he can get away with) the quiet monster came. Basically the quiet monster is me walking around like a monster (except my arms are in a t-rex position) saying "shh shh shh shh shh". It worked. Of course it did. Anything that embarrasses me always works. I'm pretty sure Aden wants to make his mom look like the biggest idiot on the planet.

We were time out- free today!!! And also nap-free. That better be a coincidence because there is no way in heck i'm getting rid of naps yet. If my kid is going to wake up at 6 in the morning, I better be getting at least an hour nap.

Speaking of which, it's 8:30. I'm going to bed.

The Worst Noise a Human Being Has Ever Made

I think the title says it all. This is Aden's new thing to get what he wants. He was probably in time out for 1/2 the day today. I am laughing hysterically in the video because I was going to kill myself if I didn't. You will understand why after you hear this....

I would rather have a pen stuck into my eye then hear this all day tomorrow. Help. Me.

Spring Break Part 1

I thought I was going to be blogging everyday of my spring break but it turns out, my days really aren't all that exciting or are too personal to be put on a public blog. All that needs to be said right now, is that I love Karma. I don't wish bad things upon people, but people get what they deserve.

Spring break is amazing. Last night I read 250 pages in a book. A book that I chose to read. That isn't about dissecting humans or animals or anything! I can exercise, cook, nap, go to bed before 3am... this is crazy.

Saturday night my sister and I went to the lil wayne concert.. IT WAS AWESOME. We danced a lot. At one point Lizzie was in the bathroom when a song she liked came on and she ran out, still zipping her pants up and had a full on dance party. By herself. While people watched. Meanwhile I was standing screaming and dancing in a circle. It must run in the family.

I think that is pretty much all I have done. Besides experiencing a country bar with line dancing. Something I learned: the only dancing I am good at is booty shaking. Give me a rap song and I can get low, I can pop lock and drop it, I can move it like bernie, shoot I might even be able to c-walk... put on a country song and I don't move. I don't know all those heel-toe-slide-kick moves.

I'm spending this spring break catching up on sleep. I went to bed at 1am last night (seriously I could not put my book down) and got a solid 5 hours of sleep. Someday Aden will sleep later than 7. And I will cry tears of happiness.

Aden fake sleeping

**I want to thank everyone who sent me a message regarding the womp womp womp post. Every single I message I received is GREATLY appreciated. I was in the process of copying and pasting them to my folder but a certain someone decided it was their place to delete them. Apparently if their own life is screwed up they want to try to screw mine up as well.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Hayshoo Mommy

Aden has been really talking. Like... REALLY talking. It makes me proud but at the same time really creeps me out. In a good way.

This morning, I was making my bed and Aden went downstairs. 3 seconds later I hear him SOBBING. Usually I can tell when something is seriously wrong so I sped downstairs thinking he got his finger stuck in the vent or the dvd player (yeah that happens about 3 times a day). No. He is standing at the bottom of the stairs with dog poop on his foot (apparently one of the dogs felt the need to defecate in the middle of the foyer) just having a breakdown screaming "DUHT! DUHT" (dirt) in between his sobs. I take him over to the sink and wash everything off, the whole time Aden is saying "ewww. Dog duht. ewww"

After I finish cleaning his foot, I put him down and go get a wet paper towel to clean up the rest of the fecal matter that is now smushed into the wood floor. I go to pick it up and I see Aden with the broom sweeping where it was. He then lifts up the rug and sweeps the poop under it, turns to me and says "WhurTeeDoh?" (where'd it go). Gee, aden... I dont know. Possibly in the place you just hid it.

As I'm cleaning he says "eww Dog Duht. WhateeDoo?" (what are we gonna do) and then says Hayshoo mommy (thank you) when I'm done. Best conversation I have ever had.

About the Hayshoo mommy. Having Aden around is like having a fan club that follows you around all day and praises you for everything. I'll be emptying the dishwasher and Aden will come up behind me and pat me on the butt and go "hey. hayshoo mommy". The other day in the store he wanted to hold a box and when I let him he said "hayshoo mommy" about 5o times. Of course I replied "you're welcome" to every single one. Manners go both ways. If I don't show him my manners, he doesn't show me his.

Oh, also today he comes up behind me and smacks me as hard as he could. It was a full body hit. There was a wind up i'm pretty sure. I whip around real fast with that horrible mom look and Aden puts his hand down, looks around and goes "WHEREDEEGO!?" (Where'd he go). Yeah Aden, like a mysterious little man follows me around and hits me and then runs away and blames you. Nice try.

Speaking of hitting. Terrible two's are living up to their name, for real. I think we had 3 time outs today. He gets mad and his way of showing it, is hitting. It's an automatic reflex for him, which worries me. My mom was holding him today when he was crying today and I said "No, Aden, we are staying inside right now" and he hauls off and hits MY MOM. Oh hellllll no. He KNEW what he did was wrong and immediately starting crying, but he still had to get into some trouble. He also screams. Really really really really loudly. And throws himself on the ground. And makes his body go limp. There is a lot of dragging him from room to room going on. If you need a diaper change, you need a diaper change. Get dragged (literally) around or learn to pee in the potty. Flopping around is not a choice. Neither is kicking.

I mean HONESTLY, he has had his diaper changed for over 2 years now. Multiple times a day. and he still cries every time. If you still aren't aware that you are peeing, you can deal with a diaper. He ran around for less than 5 minutes naked yesterday and peed on the corner of my bed. In 5 minutes. WHO DOES THAT?!

Basically that is all that is going on over here. OH and I'm on spring break!! I can't believe I made it through this quarter. It was killer. All I will say is that I hate business communications. I really thought I was going to have to drop that class. My spring break doesn't consist of going to Panama or Mexico or even Indiana. It involves a tanning bed, box tickets at a lil wayne concert with my sister, A "Now that's what I call music" party (where all songs on all NOW cd's are compiled and made into one bad ass soundtrack), and hanging out with my boy Aden. Sounds like a perfect time to me.

P.S. I really am sorry that all my stories are about fecal matter/def

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Womp Womp Womp

I don't know if it was the stress from the ridiculously hard anesthesia final I had yesterday, the 15 page paper due last Friday, or the parasitology final I have today but last night I think I had a pre-mid-mid life crisis. Or a pre-quarter-life crisis. Either way, it sucked.

To be honest, I don't really know who I am. And to make matters more complicated, I don't know who I want to be. I mean, I know I want to be a good person... but that's about it.

It's really hard to grow up. Raising a kid WHILE you're growing up is even harder. I mean seriously, I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm 2o. I still make horrible decisions. I still care about what people think of me. I still seek approval from everyone.

I don't want my son having to grow up and watch his mom make mistakes. It's embarrassing for both of us. Sometimes I miss when Aden was a newborn. It was a completely different feeling. I didn't care what I looked like or what people said about me or that the only thing I could hold a conversation about was baby poop and childbirth*. I only cared about my son. I didn't go out alone with my friends until Aden was ten months old. Ten.

One thing that I do that kind of sucks sometimes is giving chances. I give EVERYONE a chance, no matter what I have heard or what people tell me. If someone reaches out for help, I will give it to them no matter what. Because of that, I have met a ton of awesome, fun people. But also, I have been hurt a lot. And a lot of rumors spread around. (which I am totally used to. I think I was thought to be pregnant my entire 4 years in high school. I threw them all off when I got pregnant right after graduation. It was part of my master plan.)

I appreciate every single message I have received and all the support I am getting, I really do. I actually save every nice message I get and put them in a folder on my computer. I look back on them and remember that there really are good people. If anyone has any kind of advice, I would love to hear it. Message me on facebook, email me (, whatever. I don't care if I have never spoken to you in my life, it won't be creepy I promise. I'm just pretty lost.

*I think I'm still like that. If you get me talking, I will be completely open about being childbirth. It was a gross miracle that I had to go through therefore you should have no problem hearing about how I could feel facial features on his way out or that I peed my pants after he was born or that I bled for like 5 months after (long story) or my battle with the ragin' rrhoids. No, it's not pleasant but I would rather tell people the truth and see their disgusted reactions than sugar coat it and hide what really happens. I don't sugar coat. It's a known fact.

P.S.- AGAIN this is not an attempt to have a pity party for myself. It's a blog for me to say how I'm feeling and ask for advice. I want to remember EVERYTHING about being a young/teen mom, including bad times like these.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

The process of taking a picture.

When Aden doesn't want to be held, he doesn't want to be held. Flat out.

I try to take a picture of us once a week (typically the one day a week I decide to put on make up and my hair isn't pulled back in a mom bun or covered in drool, fecal matter, and food) and usually it fails miserably.

First, he flails his body around and tries to get down. Like this:

Then, he cries. Like this:

Next, he gets offended.

As a last resort, he fake cries.

Finally, he gives an awkward fake smile while trying to leap from my arms.

And then I give up.

Yaaaaay 2 year olds!


I walked downstairs the other day and I see Aden hugging his giant Pablo balloon and saying, "awwwww!"

So of course I had to take a video of it.

Oh, and did you know that he knows how to change the song on itunes on my computer?? Because yeah, that's normal for a 2 year old.

Also... I guess it's now acceptable to spit out food mid chew. Aden says so.

(and if you are wondering what he is so into watching on the TV, it's the today show.)

**P.S. this post is dedicated to my sisters. Erika because she won't stop asking me for more movies of Aden, and Lizzie because she just likes to see her name on here. Go sisters!!!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

More of Aden's Birthday

On the morning of Aden's birthday, he got a special breakfast! A birthday pancake!!!

Basically it was a regular pancake with sprinkles and strawberries around it and a candle in the middle. But nothing was cuter than seeing his face light up when I lit the candle and sang "happy birthday" to him at 6:30 in the morning. Just me and him. And a special pancake. Just how it should be.

And here is AJ playing with one of his new favorite toys.
(The one with the pen that looks like a penis)

Oh and here is the video from his birthday party on Sunday when he stuck his hand in the candle. Way to go man. Way to go.


For the love of God, Aden... please stop calling a chip a "teet".

In the past few weeks, Aden has started repeating EVERYTHING anyone says and coming up with more and more words. Today he started saying "thank you mommy", which really comes out as "hee shu mommy"... but is still so cute. Hitting and temper tantrums are becoming more of a problem. He now thinks that whenever he doesn't get his way, he can hit. Which is a lot.

I'm not a spanking kinda gal, just because I think that if he hits me, and I hit him back, that is just showing him that hitting is okay. And it's not. Plus he will be bigger than me pretty soon and I really don't want to be smacked around by my own child. I'm the HBIC. *

On Monday (Aden's 2nd birthday!), Aden had his 2 year check up. He weighed 28 pounds and was 33.5 (maybe it was 31. Something like that) inches tall. He is in the 50th percentile for weight and almost the 50th for height (dude I am so sorry for giving you my short genes AJ). He didn't have to get ANY shots and got a happy meal after it for being such a great guy. I know right? A happy meal. With chicken nuggets and apples. I'm a babykiller.

Anyways, these videos from today made me melt a little bit. He is too cute to handle sometimes.

*Head Bitch in Charge. Didn't you ever watch I Love New York?

Sunday, March 6, 2011

It's Aden's party and I can cry if I want to

On the night you were born,
the moon smiled with such wonder
that the stars peeked in to see you
and the night wind whispered,
"Life will never the the same."

Because there had never been anyone like you...
ever in the world.

Tonight, I chose to read this book, "On the Night you Were Born"... bad choice. I cried the entire way through it.

Aden will be 2 years old in 4 hours and 28 minutes. 2 years ago I was in the hospital, all 160+ pounds of me, laying in a hospital bed, eating ice chips and feeling amazing (thanks to that damn epidural). I think by this time I had stopped studying (yeah, I studied in labor) and was either watching Ellen Degeneres stand up or The Sound of Music. Both really awesome and appropriate movies to watch in labor.

Today was my mans party! We just had a very very very small get together with my family, pippa and adriana, and Aden's godparents and their daughter Emily (who is a kick ass babysitter). We had ice cream cake from dairy queen (WIN) and it was the best decision I have ever made. Except we might have had a party foul when Lizzie was trying to cut the cake and a piece was launched at Aden and landed on the floor. Minor casualty.

First of all, my parents are amazing (I'm working on a post all about that) and they and the bartelt's bought Aden a SWING SET. Like an actual swing set with a slide and swings and a glide-y thing. I swear, the first thing my mom said when I got pregnant was "We are NOT getting a swing set!" I cannot even describe how grateful I am for that gift. Aden is going to have so much fun on that thing. And probably break some bones. Seriously. My family is awesome. (duh the Bartelt's are family)

Second of all, I have never had more fun with a child's toy in my life. I got Aden a powerwheel's tough talkin jeep. I cannot wait until it gets warmer so I can tear the sidewalk up. Seriously, I chose that one specifically so it could hold 130 pounds just so I could ride with Aden in it. Don't judge me.


As cliche as this is, I have never loved anyone like I do Aden. I mean the way I describe it is, you know when you have starburst, and the only flavors left are yellow and pink? I would give Aden the pink. I wouldn't even ask to go half-sies.

So here is a note to you Aden Joseph, from your mom:

You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You have changed my life in so many ways and I cannot thank you enough for that. One day you will think I am a big dork because I dance with my mouth open and because I still listen to Ludacris. You will want to walk half a mile in front of me so I don't embarrass you. But I want you to know that I will always be here. I will always support you. I will always love you. I will always protect you. I will always be your mom.

I am the person I am today because of you. And I am forever grateful to you for that.

I love you Aden Joseph. Happy 2nd birthday!
-Money (aka Mommy)

p.s. Thank you for smacking me in the head multiple times for day and throwing awful tantrums. One day I promise to get you back by showing embarrassing photos to all of your friends.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011


I told you I was going all out on the videos this week!

This one is from this morning and absolutely hysterical. About halfway through the video he starts rolling around in all the fake food and laughing. Sometimes I don't even know how this child is mine.

Who ate Ellyn?

This next video is the most embarrassing thing I think I will ever post. I am unrecognizable (at least I hope). I was 37 weeks pregnant and had been in the hospital for high blood pressure- with no shower- for 2.5 days. My swelling was at its peak and I was pumped full of IV fluids. Before I went into the hospital I weighed about 160, so adding all that in (my swelling was ridiculous) I probably was between 165-170 pounds. I felt horrible, I looked horrible, I was in pain, and I was tired.

FINALLY... TWO years later. I am willing to show people this video. This is real life. My body did not take pregnancy well. And FINALLY, I am willing to laugh at that. No one but family has seen these videos.

Oh and for the record, in the second video- I did NOT cry twice. I only cried when the IV got misplaced and I started getting painful shocks into my vein. I totally did not cry when they blew up a balloon inside of me. I remember me bleeding a LOT and them freaking out though... that balloon thing didn't go so great.

Shit happens

This morning, a man from the gas company came to the front door. While I was talking to him, Ted (our dog) got so scared that he decided to make a giant BM. I heard Aden going "UH OH UH OH! OH NO!" but was still trying to have a conversation with this stranger. After he tells me to go unlock the side gate, I come inside. Aden has started to walk around with a bowl on his head and throw the fecal matter. Because you know, he was raised in a barn. I start washing Aden's hands and then Frank (our other dog) starts EATING it. So I have a scared shitless dog, a dog with foreign poop in his stomach, and a child with it all over his hands. And the man from the gas company witnessed everything.

Lord Jesus I am too young for this.

In other news, here's another video. Ryan thought I deleted it. He is fergalicious.

P.S. Aden heard me say "meathead" and proceeded to put a fake hamburger on his head. He knows what's up.


Ryan and I used to make Aden dance ALL the time. I mean, why do you think he's got so much swag now? This is an example of our dance time with AJ when he was 8 months old (don't worry we will totally get back to embarrassing fat pics/videos of me)