Mom's have feelings too

I like myself. I like the direction I am heading. I'm happy. But I'm also stressed out and occasionally lonely.

I thought about how I viewed "moms" before I became one. Strict, frumpy, lands-end wearing, middle-aged women who had their s*!@ together. People will tell me they respect me for being a mother or for being so responsible but i'm 99% sure that in their head they are thinking "wow i'm really glad that's not me". Which I understand. I mean, let's be honest, what college kid in their right mind wants to be responsible for something other than themselves.

It wouldn't matter if I was the coolest girl in the world, I would still be classified as a mom. One time, about a year ago, I was hanging out with a guy friend and I heard him talking with his friends in the other room and making fun of the fact that I'm a mom and he was hanging out with me. That wasn't only hurtful, but it was embarrassing. I always feel like I have to defend myself and say that I was on birth control, yadda yadda yadda, but I shouldn't. How do people not realize that if they have sex, this could be their situation?

Pippa told me a story a few weeks back about how someone asked "Why is she even out? Isn't she a mom?" First off, I didn't know that moms weren't allowed to go out in public with their friends. No one thinks that a mom's life should involve anything other than her children-- well here is a reality check. Moms need breaks. We need friends. If I didn't have my friends or the ability to go out childless once in awhile, I would probably go crazy. I've learned that I don't need to get rid of my social life and my fun to be a good mom.

I don't know if people think we don't hear them talking or if they don't care, but I hope one day they become parents and realize that they are still their normal selves. Having a child doesn't make you a different person.

Because of all the judgment I get and the time a relationship takes, at this moment, I can't see myself ever falling in love or marrying anyone, and oddly, I'm okay with that. I always thought that to be happy in life you needed a partner, and now I realize that though it may be lonely at times, it's better than settling for someone who doesn't make you as happy as you deserve to be.

This post sounds way more depressing than it was meant to be.

here's a little note : Girls without kids who talk to single dads probably hate me. Because I probably come off as mean. I don't mean to, but I cannot help but think they are selfish. What girl would knowingly want to take a kids time from their dad away? Every time I would be on a date with a single dad I would feel guilty because I would know that he could be spending this time with his kid. Or the money that he is paying for dinner with on his kid. But that's just a single mom's opinion.