Thursday, June 23, 2011


This is for my sister Erika who lives in California and constantly asks me for more videos.


And yeah, he calls sticks, "dicks".

After I took this video all the said the rest of the night was "YEAH YA DO!"

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Imagination Station

Today Aden and I went to Imagination Station in Toledo, Ohio! We met up with Courtney, her two kids Ada and Akay, her family, Lauren and her mom and her son Jack, and Nikki and Amethyst. Ada, Jack, Amethyst and Aden were all born in March 2009. It was seriously attack of the two year olds.

We left at about 7:45am, I actually packed/ planned everything the night before so I could sleep in as long as possible. I had to wake Aden up so we could leave on time. Good thing he's a morning person. After getting on the road, I noticed that somehow I had Aden's (yes, I'm sure it was his) pee on my shirt. I don't know why and I don't know how, but it was there. I always wondered why so many people where mom cardigans. Now I know. Thank you, Gap Mom Cardigan, for covering up my sons urine.

Shortly after I solved that problem, Veggie Tales would not eject from my CD player. That would be fine besides two things. 1) I have had a cd stuck in my cd player before. It was Kanye West. I almost killed someone. 2) It was bible songs. I can only hear how the b-i-b-l-e is the book for me so many times. I'm aware that joshua fought the battle of jericho and the walls came tumbling down. Luckily, kicking the dashboard worked like a charm. Lullaby renditions of kanye west, coldplay, and no doubt replaced the nasal-ly singing vegetables. I am okay with that.

Not much excitement went on during the 2 hour drive. Aden was awake the entire time. I may have given him a piece of chocolate for being so awesome. He's 2. Bribes and Rewards totally work now.

Things we learned at Imagination Station

1) Aden doesn't play with things. He runs around them. No explanation needed. He simply just likes to run laps around things that other kids enjoy playing with.

2) New obsession : Firetrucks. He would not leave the play ambulance and play firetruck alone. He put on the hat (backwards, duh) and thought he was the coolest kid around.

3) Aden should work at a grocery store. He can work an apron.

4) I should not.

5) Apparently I stand like a flamingo, all the time.

6) No two year old eats their lunch (hooray! I thought Aden was the only one)

7) To make the giant piano work, you have to jump on it. Curse you Tom Hanks & BIG for making it look so easy.

8) "Family Restrooms" means a big counter and a miniature toilet that is impossible for big people to use. I don't care if you're offended, I'm taking my boy into the restroom with me and using a normal sized toilet.

9) I want my own hurricane simulator.

10) I need longer shorts. (see picture of me in child's apron)

We had so much fun with our Marchie Mama's! Can't wait to do it again soon!

All Photo Cred's to Courtney and Nikki!!! Thank you for not slacking like me!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Summer Break 2011

Aden's new favorite tv show is little bill. Out of every show on Nick jr, the only one he will watch is about a family living in the hood that has absolutely no lessons in it, no learning in it, no plot, no songs... granted it's more "realistic" than backyardigans- I guess talking bugs, hippos, kangaroos, and birds are too juvenile for aj now- it's still a boring show. It's like when I was little and watched an hour of sesame street and then comes Bob Ross to ruin any excitement sesame street might have started. Apparently Aden would have picked the Bob Ross route.

Anyways, one episode is about car keys and now all Aden does is ask me for my keys. He also got into the habit of putting his hands on his face and yelling " DAAAAAAAAAAD! DAAAAAAAAD!" Thanks Little Bill. I want my two year old to do both of those things really badly.

Also, you know what sucks? two year old's ideas. Ice cream for breakfast. Ice cream for lunch. Ice cream for dinner. Everything involves ice cream. Or food. I'm thinking about putting a cheeto dangling in front of his head so he can be entertained with that for awhile. That kid is a bottomless pit. For the most part, he eats really healthy things... hummus, crackers, raspberry yogurt, craisins... but he just cannot get past his ranch and ice cream fetishes.

You know when you were little and you tried to catch you parents in a good mood and were really nice to them before subtly hinting at the fact that you wanted dessert... then before they could answer, reject yourself in hopes of them allowing it? Aden tried to do that tonight. He was snuggling and playing and laughing with me when he slyly turned to me and goes "Please?" me- "please what?" aden - "(something inaudible) ice cream? bowl? nooooooo ice cream. noo"... Guess who didn't get ice cream.

Summer break has been great so far. Starting off with Daryn's wedding (pics/ stories to come. I'm not sure if i'll be allowed back at any other functions involving her family), swimming with aj, the gay pride festival/festivities following with kayla, clippers game... and tomorrow, Aden and I are road tripping it (only 2 hours) to Toledo, Ohio to go to Imagination Station with some friends and their march 09 babies! Pictures will happen, I promise.

I still can't find the charger for my camera so still no new pictures. My bad.

Meet Mike

When it comes to toys making annoying sounds, I'm probably one of the most patient people out there. I can handle that awful ball popper, I can handle any song the leapfrog magnets sing, I can watch the same movie over and over and over again. But one toy has now succeeded in driving me absolutely nuts.

Meet Mike. Chompin' Mike the Mower to be exact. Created by playskool, obviously by either a deaf man or a person who doesn't have children or know any. at all. Every time Mike moves he yells "POWER UP! IT'S WORKING TIME! LET'S GIVE THIS LAWN A BUZZ CUT" in some god awful military-ish voice. If that's not bad enough, mike chomps. The chomping just involves his mouth moving back and forth, slamming plastic together. Over and over and over again.

Tonight I was trying to make dinner and Aden found the toy and brought it inside (he didn't have a nap today and wouldn't stop crying, just take the damn thing inside if that will make you happy, i don't care) This was all fine and dandy until he decided to run laps around the island in the kitchen. He may as well been beating me over the head with that thing. I considered sticking my hand in with the chicken in the grill pan, just because it would at least get my mind off of that sound and probably cause less pain.... but instead, I lost it.

I walked over during a brief milk break, took Mike, opened the back door, and threw him outside. This obviously traumatized Aden, seeing his beloved Mike being tossed out the backdoor yelling "IT'S WORKING TIME".... F**k you mike. Work on that. Aden was cured with some ranch dressing. And Mike is never allowed in the house again.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Choopth and Toot

One thing that is way new to me is this whole "i'm a real person and have my own opinion". There is no sitting AJ down and saying "this is what we are doing"... no. My little firecracker wants to do it his way, all the time. Today I said "stop being a wienie whiner"... his reply? "You're a wienie whiner" Touche, Aden. Touche.

He points me in directions (from the stroller or car seat of course) on our walks and car rides. You know, because I am not his mother and don't know directions. He knows best. That whole 2 years he has been alive... he has mastered the city of Columbus.

The names he comes up with are downright hilarious. Chips and Juice has turned into "Choopth and Toot." Charla Rae has turned into "Sha Ray", Lizzie into "Yiddie", Ice cream into "Hi Keen", Spoon into "moon" and the best- berry yogurt (he will only eat raspberry yogurt) "Buhhdy Yoga".

If he thinks something is a good idea, he will try to convince you of it. "Ice cream? Yeah? Yeah!" (nodding his head vigorously) "No, no ice cream honey" "ICE CREAM! YEAHHHHHHH!" Good luck trying to get that out of his head. Somehow he got introduced to the wonderful world of ice cream and has no plans on leaving anytime soon. Let's see, he got red hair from his dad, a crazy personality from his dad, a mean streak from me, and a sweet tooth from me. It's like God just said, "let's take every bad trait from both of them and create a child for them to watch while they go to school full time. It will be hilarious." Thank you, we deeply appreciate this.

My favorite thing right now is our nighttime ritual. We do bathtime, at the end of which he backs his naked self into me and lays down for a teeth brushing (you ever seen a naked baby back that thang up? Awkward and hilarious!) then runs into his room naked- screaming like the little gremlin he is. He gets dressed for bed and we pick out some books, do some puzzles, play with trucks and whatnot. When I put him to bed, every single time, without fail, his voice gets about 3 times higher and he says "bye mommy!!!! bye honey!!!! night sugar!" and blows me a kiss. It makes my day.
(by the way--- Katie Bentley, if you read this.. Aden kept pointing to that woman and saying "Katie! Katie!" over and over again. )

On a serious note,

I've found myself clinging to Aden since I got back from Nashville. I feel like Aden is what I have right now. I cannot explain how much I missed him this quarter. There were so many times I cried myself to sleep because I only got to see him for a few hours during the day. The worst part is, it's not going to get any better. Luckily this summer i'm taking an online class and my other two classes are only 2 nights a week, but in the fall... I don't even want to think about it. I'm not sure if many people know this but I'm not only getting my associates degree, I'm getting my bachelors in animal science and minor in business at OSU. I waited until I was done with all of my general classes with my associates and now I'm onto the rest of my general classes with OSU. I'm looking at 18 credit hours and an internship this fall, if things go well. It's going to be a lot of really hard work but if this is what it takes to give my son the life he deserves, I will do it. (by the way, with all these degrees I'll be looking for a job in veterinary pharmaceutical sales)

I miss being a hermit. I miss staying in my house, not worrying about what I look like, what i'm doing over the weekend, etc. I miss being boring. Mostly, I just miss structure. I feel like I'm just going day by day, not knowing what is going on or what is going to happen next. Someone take me back to the baby days where it was just Aden and I at home all day with a set feeding schedule and no noise but the sound of his swing putting him to sleep.

It's going to get better. It's going to get better. It's going to get better. It's going to get better. It's going to get better.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Update: The Doopy Book

I found out what the Doopy Book is.

"No, David, No". Apparently David = Doopy. He was "reading" the book today and kept saying "doopy! Come back! Come back here!" (When David runs naked down the street) So there we go. Doopy Problem Solved.

We actually got to have a nice, relaxing bath complete with a Towel Toga. What? Your parents didn't make you a toga out of your bath towel and march behind you saying "TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!"? That's unfortunate for you.

One thing that amazes me about AJ is his ability to find food. The other day he had an almond in his hand. I don't even think we have almonds here. He also found an easter egg filled with jelly beans, a bag of oatmeal squares, and for awhile he was somehow getting sour skittles. I'm not sure if he hoards that stuff or what but it's amazing.

New favorite thing to do is feed the dog uncooked macaroni. It's the only thing he can reach in the pantry so he'll grab a handful and leave a little trail. Teddy totally eats it. Poor dog. I think he is sick of eating the yogurt and oatmeal squares off of the table. Him and Ted are still bff's. Aden recently learned that the dog knows how to shake. Teddy will be laying down under the table trying to sleep, and Aden will run over, crawl under the table and yell "TEDDY SHAKE! TEDDY SHAKE!" and grab his back leg and move it up and down, laughing hysterically. Teddy is on suicide watch.

On Friday, I was making my bed and Aden went downstairs. I come down a few minutes later and find Aden sitting on a chair outside, "reading a book". I swear he is a 5 year old. He beats me up, he goes H.A.M. when he plays sports with his dad, and he chillaxes by reading books. I mean, Ryan can throw a ball at him and he will hit it with the bat.

Cannot wait until the bat becomes a weapon.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Things I learned

On Saturday morning, we left for Daryn's bachelorette party in Nashville, Tennessee. It was the longest I have ever been away from Aden and after crying for the first hour I was away from him (I dropped him off Friday evening) I actually did pretty well.

Things I Learned In Nashville:

1) Cicada's are aggressive. Those beastly bugs go right for the face. We didn't look tourist-y at all, running around screaming and dropping our purses trying to get away from them. Dis. Gusting.

2) God Hates Whores. Right after I finished dropping it like it's hot with a street dancer (Thank you Daryn for forcing me to do that and for video taping it as well) we walked across the street and 3 young girls wearing neon green t-shirts with big black letters on them looked at Kayla and screamed "GOD HATES YOU, YOU WHORE!" Everyone around us was just flabbergasted. Who even says that to people you don't know? I believe I yelled "I HAVE A CHILD" (because you know, that makes you immune to such comments) Most ridiculous thing ever.

Before we found out that God hates us

3. Going to the Jack Daniels Distillery whilst still feeling the effects from the night before is NEVER a good idea. Being in 95 degree weather, smelling 140 proof whiskey. You tell me how I felt.
Jack Daniels was a 5'2" womanizer who was probably molested by a preacher.

4. I am not immune to sunburn. Something that is also not a good idea- slathering on oil with no SPF, sitting in the sun for 6 hours. And encouraging others to do it with you. "Come on guys! Go h.a.m. on this suntan oil with me! You won't burn!" Wrong, Ellyn. So wrong.

5. I would not have survived the college lifestyle. Though it was amazing, I could never do that every weekend. I felt so lazy- even though I lost a few pounds walking up and down broadway and demonbreun- and unproductive. At least now I have a kid so I have an excuse for being a total loser and not going out.

(always be nice to the quiet australian in the corner)

6. I have the best friends in the world

Doopy Books and Elmo Socks

Since I went out of town last weekend and then had class late on Tuesday and Wednesday, I hadn't given Aden a bath in a week. (I don't make him sit around in his own sweat, his dad gives him a bath.. I think.) Bath time has always been one of my favorite times just because he loves it so much and is an absolute goofball. So of course, I made the mistake of looking forward to giving him a bath.
Right before, we were in my room playing and he walks into his room and starts asking for socks. I'm kind of used to this by now considering one of his favorite things to do is have me put socks on him, leave them on for 4 minutes, and then throw them across the room. I just kind of ignored it and started getting things ready for his bath.

He got a little whiny so I thought suggesting going into the bathroom for his bath would help. Wrong. The breakdown begins. It got to the point where I had to carry him into the bathroom and stand in front of the door. He was getting a bath. He had been outside all day and i'm pretty sure there were 8 different layers of dirt on his feet. I put him in the tub and he flung himself onto me and just kept crying and screaming. I knew he was tired but wow. This was the worst 2 year old tantrum he has had, by far. Finally I sat on the edge of the tub, sat him on my lap and started washing him. This is when I started to understand what he was saying. "Elmo socks". He was crying for his rainbow socks with Elmo's face on them. The $1 pair of socks I bought at Target last christmas. My kid just cried for 20 minutes because he wanted to put frickin socks on.

Then, after that he got mad that I didn't read him the "doopy" book. I have no idea what the doopy book is. I called Ryan frantically "WHAT IS THE DOOPY BOOK!? HELP ME! I JUST NEED THE DOOPY BOOK!" Turns out- no one knows. He settled for "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie".

Someday I will be able to understand him. Until then, here's to the doopy book and elmo socks.