Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Meet Mike

When it comes to toys making annoying sounds, I'm probably one of the most patient people out there. I can handle that awful ball popper, I can handle any song the leapfrog magnets sing, I can watch the same movie over and over and over again. But one toy has now succeeded in driving me absolutely nuts.

Meet Mike. Chompin' Mike the Mower to be exact. Created by playskool, obviously by either a deaf man or a person who doesn't have children or know any. at all. Every time Mike moves he yells "POWER UP! IT'S WORKING TIME! LET'S GIVE THIS LAWN A BUZZ CUT" in some god awful military-ish voice. If that's not bad enough, mike chomps. The chomping just involves his mouth moving back and forth, slamming plastic together. Over and over and over again.

Tonight I was trying to make dinner and Aden found the toy and brought it inside (he didn't have a nap today and wouldn't stop crying, just take the damn thing inside if that will make you happy, i don't care) This was all fine and dandy until he decided to run laps around the island in the kitchen. He may as well been beating me over the head with that thing. I considered sticking my hand in with the chicken in the grill pan, just because it would at least get my mind off of that sound and probably cause less pain.... but instead, I lost it.

I walked over during a brief milk break, took Mike, opened the back door, and threw him outside. This obviously traumatized Aden, seeing his beloved Mike being tossed out the backdoor yelling "IT'S WORKING TIME".... F**k you mike. Work on that. Aden was cured with some ranch dressing. And Mike is never allowed in the house again.

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