Sunday, October 16, 2011

Everybody Waffles.

This morning I told Aden we were going to eat waffles. This was his reply:

Here are the lyrics: "Waaafffles. Waaaafffles. Everybody Waaaafffles." Because you know, everybody DOES waffle...? It sounds a lot like the Clean up song. And "Everybody" comes out "yeah buddy". I'm not sure how he came up with it but you can bet that "everybody waffles" is going to be a 2011 Hit Song.

Also, Aden had to have the amount of football he watches restricted. He does a three point stance, wait until the quarterback hikes the ball, runs a lap, and then tackles whoever is on the floor. He did it for the entire 2nd half of the OSU game. Mommy and Papa were exhausted. So now everytime football is on he just gets way too worked up to handle. Imagine Dick Butkus as a toddler.. with red hair. Run far, far away.

Oh and mom fail of the day: Finding orange play doh lodged up into your son's nose. Play doh had to be put away due to eating it, regurgitating it, inhaling it, and stuffing it up the nose. It was a long day.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Only Trust Thyself, and Another Shall Not Betray Thee

I'm going to write about something that I tend to steer clear of on my blog. My relationships.

Since Aden, I have become very protective of my feelings. I don't let many people in, not in fear of me being hurt, but in fear of my son SEEING me be hurt. I was adamant on not letting guys meet my son, why should they? If you aren't going to stick around why should I let you meet what is most important to me? Not many of them expressed an interest anyways. Over time I have become pretty hardened to the idea of love and happily ever after. You see so many people get divorced, break up, and get hurt and I realized I just didn't ever want to feel like that. Don't have feelings; don't get hurt. It worked well.

But then you meet that one person who is so persistent in breaking that wall down. Not because they care. Not because they want to be with you. Just because they can. They know what to say and how to act in every situation to manipulate you into taking that wall down.

And then they crush you.

That feeling I never wanted to feel? I felt it. That fear my son seeing me get hurt? It happened.

So much in my life is unstable right now. My school schedule, Aden's schedule, working.. I'm always frantically rushing around it seems. My schedule is tough. For once it was nice to have something stable. Someone I could talk to, someone who was supportive, someone who was on my side.

The whole situation is disgusting to me. The fact that I could get so worked up over someone is disappointing and embarrassing. The fact that I still can't listen to any song on the radio or drive anywhere without something crossing my mind and me asking myself over and over, "why did I do this to myself? Why did I do this to my son?.. is pitiful. "mora til den sterke" (mother of the strong)... is a lie. How can I teach someone to be strong when I can't even be strong myself?

I feel guilty. I feel guilty that Aden was the one comforting me. I feel guilty that I made him sleep with me 6 nights in a row. I feel guilty that Aden was the one to see me cry. I feel guilty that Aden offered me "shuey" (his most prized possession) day in and day out just to comfort me. I feel guilty that I ever passed up 1 minute of my time to spend with Aden to spend it with someone else.

I wish that I could blame this on someone else. I wish that this was someone else's fault. But doing that would only show weakness and immaturity, two traits which I never wish to possess.

It's times like these when I wish I was optimistic instead of realistic.

"Only Trust Thyself, and Another Shall Not Betray Thee"- William Penn

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Drumming In The Chicken

Remember how hitting has become an issue with Aden? Well, we have been being more strict about hitting others and how it makes them feel and all, and I thought we were making progress. That is, until SOMEONE taught him how to "drum" on his lap (aka hit his lap). Now when I see him hitting things he says "LOOK mom! I'm drumming". Newsflash AJ: People do not drum on mirrors. Or people. Or dogs. If I have to get this kid a drum set to teach him that we only drum on drums, I might go crazy. We have tried drumsticks before... not surprisingly, mom was the one who got all the battlewounds. Never argue with a toddler and a drumstick. Especially one who makes this face:

The other day, I asked Aden where shuey was. Aden smiled and pointed and said "In the chicken!" Well, here's the problem. We don't have a chicken. I asked him again and he again said "the chicken". He then ran and got shuey... in the kitchen. At least I can actually see how he got chicken out of kitchen. Unlike super clean and shuey..

Poor bubba is sick. This is the very first time (besides that time when he was 6 months old and I took him to the doctor and he had a sore throat. THAT was a big deal.) he has been sick. He just has snot everywhere. I always said I would never be that mom who had the gross crusty kid. Guess what? I have a gross crusty kid. Do you know how hard it is to teach someone to blow his nose? I mean, the kid just learned how to suck from a straw a few weeks ago. Sucking and blowing are really not strong points of his (get your mind out of the gutter, it's a child). Since he was sick, I took today off work and spoiled him rotten..Jeni's ice cream included. I don't get many days like that, so today was really special.

Today I don't know what AJ was doing but he was taking all of my underwear o
ut of the basket and saying "oh for god's sake".. which is also a quote he uses watching football (thank you grandpa for that one). I think he has a thing for underwear. I told him he could wear underwear if he used the potty and he runs over, makes me take his pants off, goes and shakes his little member over the potty and screams "ALL DONE!" then asks to put on my underwear. Okay dude, you love football and dirt as well as nailpolish and lacy under-roo's. Some may say that's odd but I just say you're well rounded. You wear those hipster boyshorts AJ!

After Aden told me he pooped his pants and I realized I forgot the wipes. This is not staged. He had control of the picture button.

And since I'm having another "why can't I be with Aden all the time" whiny day, here is a note to my boy:

Aden, I wish I could give you the world. I wish I could spend every single moment of every single day with you and teach you everything you need to know. I wish I could be wiser and make less mistakes for you. I wish you didn't have to learn things at the same time I do. I hope you never have to grow up as fast as I did. I hope you watch your mom and realize how hard it is for me to leave you and go to work or school. I love you, I miss you. It will get better.
(Am I getting repetitive yet?)